A
female
age
18-21,
PUDDINPOP
writes:Hey everyone, I need help! I've been telling this guy how I feel for awhile now and he just never seems to catch on. Well, today we had a talk and he tells me that he needs something more than sex. He wants a companionship. He and I haven't had sex recently but we did make plans so could it be possible that this is his way of asking for a relationship without really asking? I'm waiting to hear back from him but in the meantime any advice on what my next step should be would be fine. Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, PUDDINPOP +, writes (13 March 2008):
PUDDINPOP is verified as being by the original poster of the question Youre so right I'm afraid to talk to him about how I really feel and what I really want.Today we did something we made love for the first time And he said he actually felt a emotional connection I felt it too I wanted to cry but I didn't so now I'm crying non stop.I miss him already :-( But why when he asked me what I was thinking I couldn't say anything He said that he wants for us to be able to have those connection without sex I believe we can do it. I just feel so horrible 4not talkin.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (13 March 2008):
 "he wants something emotional and mental" - this is relative and also a sweeping statement that in an attempt to sound definitive, suggests nothing. Puzzle pieces will keep you occupied for awhile, but you might want to see if they fit together into a bigger picture first. If you're going to get anywhere meaningful in life, you need to learn how to ask for what you want. The reason you are so busy scrambling to put this puzzle together is because you aren't doing this. I think it may be because you are afraid of what you may have to do if he doesn't give you the right answer. That happens but what you're going through right now feels worse so have that conversation with him and don't accept less than what you need.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (13 March 2008):
 You say that you two have not had sex "recently," which may mean that you have engaged in activity in the past. We don't know, based on your posting, but "Ask oldersister" may be right - You need to make your intentions and limitations clearly known. If you wish much more, then don't give the sexual favors freely.
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A
female
reader, PUDDINPOP +, writes (13 March 2008):
PUDDINPOP is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow I'm confused Cause he says that what he needs is something more than sex he wants something emotional and mental but why would he say that if all he wants is sex?? And he does know that I don't want anyone but him and he's still giving me things in these little puzzle pieces that I have to try to put together instead of him just coming out with what he really wants from me I love him and I'm in love with him So I'm willing to work with him I have no problem with it.I want to be his companion
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (13 March 2008):
What he means by companionship is sex. He's not asking for anything more than that from what you wrote. His next step would be making sure you weren't having sex with anyone else by having a relationship unless you've already told him "I'm not seeing anyone else"- which in that case, he'll just stay put. I say this because you indicated you two have had sex in the past but no steps have been taken despite what he says he needs. I think he's getting what he needs so your next step is to clarify what you need and don't be shy about it: Ask outright, you deserve to know.
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A
female
reader, PUDDINPOP +, writes (13 March 2008):
PUDDINPOP is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I've told him in the past that I wanted more than just sex and he sorta just brushed it off and now all of a sudden he brings it to my attention that he wants more than just I do want the same but i'm not sure if he wants me to be his companion.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM + ♥, writes (13 March 2008):
You did not say whether you would like a more serious relationship with him, other than just sex, but it sounds as if he would like that. It sounds as if it's up to you. Would not a good companionship be better for both of you?
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