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We keep our social lives separate, is this normal?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 June 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2011)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I live with my boyfriend (lived together for 3 years, dated for 7.5 years) and we spend a lot of time together. In fact, we're probably only apart when we work and when I go for yoga. We don't really have any friends here (we're only here temporarily for school), and we're both homebodies, so we don't hang out with other people much.

Anyway, we're trying to keep our social lives separate. He doesn't invite me to his lab get-togethers, and I don't take him along to parties either. Is this bad? Other people have asked me why I don't bring him and I feel like they think I'm being really mean. Also, I want to host a party for some co-workers, but I don't really want my boyfriend there. I kind of want it to be my own thing, if you get what I mean. Also, since he doesn't invite me to his own events, I don't really want to invite him to mine either. So, I guess my question is: is this normal? lol ... and what do couples usually do anyway when they go to a party together but only one person knows the people there - do they stick together the whole time?

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A male reader, Dodds Kenya +, writes (11 June 2011):

Dodds agony auntIt doesnt seem normal..but whatever works for you. for me id prefer to include my partner in other areas of my life,not necessarily always...and vice versa to help with our bond and to make each feel involved,but as i said whatever works for you,all the best

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011):

You guys live in a town where you have few social outlets so you rely fully on each other. It is perfectly natural for you to want to branch out and have a life seperate from him, make your own friends and whatnot. Yes normally I suppose a girl would invite her guy out to gatherings with friends. But your case is different. You both are trying to make friends and often the best way to make friends is to present yourself as an individual, And that is what you both are doing.

I see nothing wrong with you doing your own social thing. Maybe once you make a few friends and you feel like you have expressed your own individuality in that group then eventually you can introduce your boyfriend into the mix little by little.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (11 June 2011):

Danielepew agony auntI don't think you have to spend all your time together. But you should do as you two please.

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