A
female
age
36-40,
*anillafrost
writes:I met this guy in a club during the last days of my holiday. He started to talk to me.. Like "Hi, What's your name etc.." We exchanged telephone numbers. The next day we met again. He was a business-man who studied abroad for 8 years, but now setteling down in his own country. We were having a drink and he ended up in my appartement he massaged my back!? We knew that I was going to leave soon. (I live at the other end of the globe) But he was struggeling not to have sex with me. In the end.. we just kissed. When he left.. I was still sleeping. He left twice on one day and kissed my forehead twice! Stupid ME started to have feeling for him because he was so sweet and shy. He is the first guy Ive met who is able to control himself, even though he was having a very hard time.The next few days we met each other. He was still treating me very nice. I told him that I was in love with him. BUT ALSO: That I will probably forget about him when i return home and I would NEVER leave my country for someone.. and that I just needed someone motivate me on life. He insisted that long-distance relationships never works and he is not in love with me.. but he likes me and thinks im cute. He needs to take it slow.. and get to know a person better! He is sorry that he kissed me and couldnt control himself.. thus making me sad. He wants to be friends and me to be happy.My last night, he was going to have a important family dinner. He called to have dinner with me instead because it was my last night. But he was lying! The family dinner was going to be held later in the evening so he could have dinner with me before his family dinner! HE LIED! But anyway we had a drink.. He said its not a good idea to bring me home because he was afraid he is going to do something stupid again to hurt me. He wants to say goodbye as friends. We said goodbye and I gave him a small note that I loved him. YeAh After 4 days! How is that possible! His last call.. He said that He misses me very much now he realize he will not see me again in a very very long time. I arrived home.. He was busy on the chat and didnt reply me. I got angry! I called him but he was so distant. He was like... I am so busy! OKOK IS MISS U OK!! .. He forgot my birthday.. didnt call.. no messages..NOTHING and just vanished.... WHY??? He used to call 10 times a day! Say caring things.. Do caring things.. sigh.. CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUT??***Thank you for taking your time to read***
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 I think that reality has hit him really hard and he may just be trying to cope with it.
You told him directly that you will NEVER leave your country for anyone. So my guess is that he's trying to avoid you for now so he can get over you. You know, your wound would keep on hurting if you keep putting salt on it, so he's trying to avoid that.
And it's even harder when you came so strong on him. I know what I'll say will sound harsh, but you shouldn't have told him you were IN LOVE with him! At least you should have said you liked him a lot, but not that. So it could either be two ways: He may feel some obligation and guilt for not sharing the same feelings you do OR he may see you as a bit of a liar(since you told him that after 4 days of knowing him) and probably thinks your feelings for him are not real, making him mad. Now, this is assuption, so don't see it as truth.
But I really think he's just trying to deal with reality and trying to get over you. Give him his time, and he'll probably come back to you.
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