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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi ppl, me and my bf were together for 11 months. we vowed to stay together forever no matter wot problems occured. we had been engaged for the last six months. things have been quite hard between us recently and we were constantly arguing! But now he says hes had enuf and as ended our relationship? We have worked through harder situations before and I feel that we are strong enough to work through this one but he says to leave it. Trouble is im taking it realy badly and he has become quite malicious with regards to how he speaks to me and says the most awful things. Im even having sleepless nights, unable to eat and contantly feel sick. How do I convince him that we can work when he doent want to talk about the situation? what shud I do to get by Baby back? I luv him and I kno it can work!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2006): YOU are telling us you've worked through harder situations before; and that you feel you are strong enough to work through this. You say you know it can work and you want to convince him of that.
But what is HE saying? he told you he's had enough, and to leave it. He ended your relationship. You are refusing to accept that its over, and so now he is saying "the most awful things to me" and is quite malicious about it. He doesn't want any more discussion.
My dear, YOU are the one making all the moves to get things back on track. There isn't anything in what you've told us to indicate that he has the least bit of interest in trying again. Sorry to say, the only thing you CAN do now is to --- DO NOTHING. Don't call him or send emails. Pressuring him to change his mind will only drive him further away.
MAYBE if you leave him completely alone, he will eventually reconsider. But don't count on it. If it doesn't work out, there are other men around!
A
female
reader, matron +, writes (30 June 2006):
 Sounds like he felt he'd tried for too long to make a go of it and got fed up with it all as it didn't seem to work anymore. You obviously regret all the arguements and looking back most of them were probably needless, but looking back wont help the here and now.
Why dont you write to him telling him that you love him and you are sorry that the relationship ended the way it did, remember to take some of the blame for the rocky episodes, and end by saying that you miss him and would like to think that one day you could work things out between you. Tell him you realise he needs space and that you will respect that and always be there for him. Remember that you must stick with it and give him that space, he may after a while find that he misses you and contact you, if that should happen dont harp on about the past, thank your lucky stars and move forward with the relationship.
If it doesn't happen move on with your life because it wasn't meant to be, and remember there is someone out there for all of us. Be happy x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 June 2006):
 Well it looks like you may have to play the waiting game and see if he decides he misses you too. He sounds pretty much fed up so I wouldn't try to talk him into another chance just yet. He may truly be done with the relationship so I would busy myself with the other aspects of your life until you know for sure whether he might be willing for another go at it. You may even find someone with whom you have a more tranquil relationship. Good luck!
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