A
female
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*elen1986
writes:Hi I am 19 and my boyfriend is 25. I love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same. We have a perfect relationship except for one thing. Everytime I get drunk I change. I turn into a nasty spiteful person. I shout and say nasty hurtful things to my boyfriend and he spends most of the night chasing me. I always say sorry to him in the morning but he says he cant handle much more of it. I always say I will never drink again but I always do, I cant help it. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul and don't want to lose him. Help me.
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female
reader, sugersweet02 +, writes (22 August 2006):
 look cut down on drink when you go out with him only drink one or 2 glasses tops and then stick with coctails and there the alcohal but there much prettier and youll stay with your boyfriend who yo love try not to geet drunk or youll lose him as he said its easy keep ur drink lvl down and just after a couple of drinks drink unachole best of luck please rate me xox
A
female
reader, camille +, writes (22 August 2006):
 It's not perfect though is it? Don't kid yourself. You have a problem and if you don't sort it, no-one else can and you will lose this man. If you really love him and yourself, you'd try harder. Why do you expect him to stick around and put up with this sh*t? That's not what love is. In fact, he'd be doing you both a favour by leaving. Get some professional help before you do irreperable damage. It'll be hard, but worth it.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (22 August 2006):
Helen1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou to all who have given me advise on my alcohol problem. My man is far more important to me than alcohol. I will not mix my drinks anymore and I certainly will not drink if I am feeling in a bad mood already. thankyou
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): why can't you stop drinking? you're obviously hurting someone you claim to care about. and so if you do care about him like you say you do, then you'd definitely do something about it. if you find that you can't completely stop drinking, then at least limit yourself so that you don't get drunk. maybe only a few whenever you go out. and if you can't do that, than i'd say you need to potentially seek help. because there's no reason someone shouldn't be able to control the amount they drink, unless they have a problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): Very good advice from Hannieseds on your problem, dear and I totally agree with her words. Your bf should never allow this sort of behavior in his life. No one deserves that and he will get fed up and walk away. Your bf is protecting himself from your 'lashing out and mean' behaviours caused by alcohol. If you keep this up, you will lose him. No one should be permitted to blow up the a happy relationship and cause pain to a person they love, with their acting-out behaviors and out of control drinking. This all comes down to making the best, loving, wisest 'choice' to making your relationship flourish and remain happy. You quit the drinking. If can't quit on your own, call AA. But, if you continue to drink-you will lose, dear and the costs to you will be heartbreaking. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): I think alcohol is a means to let your anger and hatred out and it isn't a very healthy nor helpful means.
There are obviously some deep and personal issues from your past that you struggle with and you lash out.
The best thing to do is seek individual counseling to address the past and sort and work them out in a healthier fashion so that you can have a healty and loving relationship.
The abuse needs to stop Sweetie.
In the mean time refrain from drinking and apologize to the BF and ask for his support; he wants you to be happy and is telling you that if he cannot make you happy...it is the end.
It isn't really him Sweetie and he needs to know this.
Get some counseling and also seek some couples counseling as well so that you can both find ways of dealing with your behaviour and alcoholic tendancies.
It is now your responsibility to make sure you do what you can to save your relationship and save yourself.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): So don't drink!!
If you have a problem - i.e., you can't leave the booze alone, and feel you must have a little drop, consider contacting Alcoholics Anonynmous.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): Of course, as Malyce_Synn might say, "Get counselling for your alcoholic problem."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): Then the obvious solution is to stop drinking. What's the point of drinking alcohol until you're drunk anyway? It's meaningless.
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A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hey Helen,
There is only one thing to do. Drink in moderation or don't drink at all. Quite simple really. If you love this guy as much as you say you do, then why would you want to hurt him by still drinking? It should be the easiest and simpliest thing to do if you feel this way about him.
I started to get violent and abusive towards my man when I got drunk and it was horrible seeing him so hurt. I made the decision after the last time, 7 months ago, I would never drink in excess again, and I haven't, because I know how much I was driving the man I love away. I still have the occasional wine and that, but I never mix my drinks or have more than 3 glasses of wine because I made a promise to myself and to him that I wouldn't.
It has been so simple not to drink because I know what I have gained!
You really just have to ask yourself honestly - what is more important? The booze or my man.
YOU CAN HELP IT! Don't give that age-old excuse that you just help it, because in life you have a choice in everything you do or don't do!
If you really are trying with all your heart to stop drinking, then maybe it's time for professional help. If your boyfriend means that much to you then you will do anything to help yourself stop drinking and hence stop being hurtful.
Reward yourself with little things every week you go without getting drunk and get your boyfriend to help support you aswell.
But seriously babe, it really isn't that hard to stop when you know what is at stake if you don't. xxx
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