A
female
age
30-35,
*are8866
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 4yrs. we have an 8mos yr old daughter together. We have had our share of arguements and fights and the past yr has not been the greatest. Most of it was because I was pregnant and emotional. He ended things with me about a month ago and is really interested in this other girl who is engaged to another man. She tells my ex that she wants to be with him instead but has not broke it off with her bf yet... I know that my ex and her are flirting around all the time and doing stuff together behind this guys back. I have loved him for so long and wanted us to work out for so long that I am completely lost. My heart is completely broken and I can't help but think about him and her and how somehow she is better than me. I have done the whole begging him to stay, telling him we could work it out. Then I told him that I was ok with both of us seeing other people and that I just wanted to enjoy the time we have together until we can't (or until one of us is dating someone else).. he told me he didn't want that and that he just wanted his space and maybe eventually we could become friends again. We have a daughter together and right now he doesn't even want to be friends or nice about it... I want him back soooo bad and want us to work out and be a family. I want him to be her daddy, I want him to be there for all of her firsts! He is her daddy and maybe that is why im so in love with him and want him back so bad. Is there any hope for us? Maybe if I leave him alone for awhile he will want me back. I want him to realize what he is missing out on and go back to the great times we have had.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Are any of you behaving like responsible adults? Did you both want a child? Even if you didn't, you now have a child and both of you parents have to act responsibly to bring her up. You may not have a future together, but you need to be parents - both of you - and to take responsibility for this little child that you have brought into the world.
It sounds like he is either scared off or that he is too immature to take responsibility. Stop chasing after him, stop putting yourself first - the baby comes first now.
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