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male
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*rois13
writes: Hey, me and my girlfriend have had sex 3 times now...the first time it hurt her, but after that it was awesome...on the third time we tried to try something new, instead of me being ontop she wanted to try being on top, but once she was on top, and i insterted my penis, she kept saying how much it was hurting her and stuff....why might this be? and is there anything we can do so that it wont hurt her at all?
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female
reader, Serene Katy +, writes (1 August 2006):
 Yeah, if the pain is deep within, you're probably just a big boy and she needs to leave that extra inch out, more squating than lying. If the pain isn't that deep within she probably needs more warm up time. Either way, she will probably stretch a bit in time...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): After 15 years of sex, being on top can still hurt for me. To have a pleasurable experience, I do several things. 1) Make sure I am extremely aroused, almost to orgasm, before I sit on my partner's penis. 2) I only insert the penis as far as is comfortable and then reverse thrust, by lifting myself off (sliding his penis out) and then lowering myself at different angles and different speeds 3) I alternate being on top facing my partner and facing away from him - two different sensations and different comfort levels.
Be patient, take your time. Most of all, assure her that the last thing you want is to cause her pain and she doesn't have to do anything that hurts. Assure her you're into her and the intimacy is an extension of your connection and you want to go as slow as possible. If she experiences pain, immediately withdraw and kiss her and caress her, helping her understand you are really into being with her totally. Slowly work your way down to oral sex, which is remarkable antidote to painful penetration, and shows her that you're serious about making her sexual pleasure a real priority.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 July 2006):
 When the woman's on top, your penis goes a lot deeper, because you're not wrestling with two sets of thighs in the way.
Because you were deeper, it's possible that your penis was pressing against her uterus, a situation that can hurt and/or give a sensation similar to cramping.
The solution is easy: don't have her on top until she's ready to try it again. Now that she's aware that there can be a problem, she can guide you in more carefully, and possibly not "right to the hilt". You can also try other positions, including her on top, but facing away from you. Experiment, and don't feel like you're inadequate if one sexual position or another doesn't work for you. Not everyone has the same abilities... or tastes.
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (30 July 2006):
 Well I think maybe she has not had sexual intercourse before or maybe she had little experience about it. I think you should talk about the issue without thinking it could be a medical problem, another idea is that maybe she was stressed about the intimacy issue or that foreplays weren't enough I would suggest more of talking and more, or only, foreplays for a time instead of focusing on penetration... may this not improve you should visit a gynecologist.
Love
Astrid
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