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We had sex and now his texting is spotty. I'm always left feeling insecure and ignored, should I pursue this guy?

Tagged as: Crushes, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *abs1 writes:

Ok so before I start this is a lot of back forth history before the real problem starts. This guy I just started dating suddenly has a communication failure. We had sex for the first time, I stayed the night he made breakfast nothing wierd. That night I texted him from work, he texted back and that was it until the next evening I called him and we talked for a couple min, he requested I text him from work. I did and no response all night.. or the next day until around 6;30 pm almost 24 hours later. And he didn't even comment on what I had said the night before.

I had been insecure all day and just started not caring when he texted me; asking what was going on in my world. Well Now I didn't text back because he had made me feel insecure. The next day I decided to call that maybe he didn't get my text or something, I call no answer. Six hours later I text him, just saying hi basically and he texts back a couple hours later saying he'll call me in a bit. No call until the next day at like 3! What the hell! (keep in mind he doesn't work or anything)

So I didn't answer because once again I'm over here feeling insecure and I don't want to deal with that. Now he has been calling and texting the last couple days. My instincts tell me not to get in contact again. That someone who is interested makes it happen. But I'm not sure, I don't want to pursue someone who isn't into me and I feel thats what this is, but I want some other opinions.

View related questions: insecure, text

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A female reader, Babs1 United States +, writes (8 January 2012):

Babs1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you ladies for your advice. I decided to go with your opinions and not respond to him, which I feel very good about. Yes I had sex with him too soon and thank you to the anonymous writer for your advice not to sleep with men until you are together, something I'm learning as I'm going along in finding a partner.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012):

"...keep in mind he doesn't work or anything"

You probably don't want to hear this right now, but he's probably just done you a huge favor by not pursuing you. And I think your instincts are right, don't get in contact with him again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2012):

No more sex with him! let him chase you, proclaim his love and call you his girlfriend before you have sex with him again. In the future, do not have sex with men you want a relationship with until he calls you his gf/says I love you. It helps weed out the guys that are after sex only.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (8 January 2012):

Moo's Mum agony auntHe's a guy! He got what he wanted and now he doesn't have to try so hard with you. Back off and make him do the running.

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