A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'll give you some back story before I ask for advice. My boyfriend and I were together for about a year, we lived together and things were fine. There was never any reason for either of us to have suspicions of cheating and to this day I don't think there was ever anything going on. In the last month of our relationship, he started to become distant and when I brought it up he admitted that he was unsure of what he wanted regarding marriage, etc and instead of hurting me he wanted space to figure himself out. We broke up and I moved out and we stopped talking while he "found himself". Don't get me wrong it was hard and I was sad but I respected him for making that decision. After 6 months and about 2 months ago, we started talking again and we both decided that we wanted to be with each other. He realized that being with me was what he did want and I have no reason to think he wasn't telling the truth. For a month and a half things were great. Recently, he has been busy with work and stuff which I take for being distant and in turn take as being he will end the relationship again. We only get to see each one to two times per week because we live 45 minutes apart which also makes me feel bad. Anyone been in this situation? I have a feeling I am overanalyzing and pushing him away. What should I do? Any ideas, thanks!
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male
reader, previasc96 +, writes (23 April 2008):
45 min drive huh... the drive isn't th problem. My be conflict in work schedules between ht two of you. The important thing is that the time spent together is holsum and good quality time.
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (23 April 2008):
 It does sound like you have some suspicions about the last month of that relationship and it also sounds like some of those suspicions are creeping back in the second time around or you'd be much more secure with this. Recycled relationships can work if the initial problems were addressed and corrected during the time apart. Otherwise, getting back together can often be a rerun which from what you wrote, sounds like what you fear. Breaking up and being apart is very difficult and sometimes you get back together because you miss that person which is good, it shows how much your boyfriend felt about you. I think your gut feelings are dead on but this doesn't have to mean that what you fear will happen but it does mean there is a missing piece in your relationship that wasn't resolved, don't you think? This is something I would speak to him about. I wouldn't tell him you are fearful and feel like pushing him away or that you are overanalyzing. I would tell him that you never felt quite resolved with how everything ended and how you didn't even realize you felt unresolved with it until now that he's distancing himself through work. Don't be accusatory, just let him know in a calm way so that he feels comfortable to discuss it. I hope this helps.
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