A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex broke up with me last month as he is just very sick and tired of arguing. He said he thought about it for very long and that it would be better for us. Our relationship was one full of arguments and breakups/makeups the same day, mainly due to my bad temper and taking him for granted. On his part, there were insecurities issues as well. Initially he held on to the relationship and tried talking to me, but I always promised to change but never did. Two years down, he got very disappointed and said the love was fading and he sees me more like a friend now.Breaking up and being away from him for one month made me see what was lacking in our relationship and what I(we) should have done instead. I just wished I had seen it earlier instead of being a fool and wasting this whole 2 years. Immediately after the breakup, I asked if it's possible for us again I were to change or is he already very decided that it won't ever be anymore? First time he replied that he really doesn't know, and second time he just asked me to focus on our exams now and ask again after that. After which, I asked for a meetup after my exams to either talk through or have a closure, and he has agreed but will let me know when again. He doesn't seem to be keen in replying me much so I have left him alone since 2 weeks ago.I am now working on better expressing my anger, and I really hope to work at the relationship again this time with trust, communication and respect. Is it already too late now and that he won't ever believe in me again? What else can I do apart from working on my temper now?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 May 2014):
 Let him get some time to decide. Unfortunately you can't make that choice for him.
GOOD thing is that you can acknowledge your mistakes and is willing to work on them.
It is easy to fall into old pattern. Which means, if you two do get back together, it will be something you have to be very aware off. And.. IF you get back together and you can control your temper, it might still no work because he will be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It might really BE for the best if you two decide you do not want to try again. It will give you a chance to BE who you WANT to be with someone who doesn't keep remember who you WERE.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Honeypie, thanks for your reply. Not sure if my previous post went through successfully so reposting now.Was feeling very down just now and almost caved in to contacting him but am so glad I didn't.I know I have to do it for my own future, I'm changing myself for the next one. It can be him and it can be someone else too. What I really wish now is for him to contact me soon for meetup and then let him know how I feel about getting him back, and if he doesn't accept, I can tell myself yup I regretted my actions during the r/s but at the end I tried but it didn't work and move on without regrets.It's just a huge roller coaster ride for me cause sometimes (like now) I feel that I can do this. But at other times I just feel so so afraid that he is already gone and hence want to seek opinions if it's really too late for me now...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 May 2014):
You should work on your temper, but NOT just for this guy. FOR YOUR future. You don't want to get into an endless cycle of you not dealing with these problems that YOU cause.
It's a GOOD thing that you are working on getting better at handling thing, but there is no instant fix. A month of you working on it, it not going to convince anyone that you won't revert back to your old habits.
Maybe you need to remember that a relationship isn't just ALL about what YOU want. Maybe in this case, HE doesn't WANT to try again. We ALL hit our limit to how much "crap" we are willing to put up with. He spend 2 years trying to make it work, maybe he is just done, and whether you like it or not - you will have to ACCEPT that.
It could be that he is NOT replying a whole lot because 1. he is busy 2. he doesn't want to get "sucked" back in.
So I suggest you WORK on your issues and back off. LET him contact you on HIS time.
As for closure, even if you DO met up, you might not get it. He might not get it.
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