A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Lived with longtime boyfriend of 6 yrs, Moved out because he did not want to take the next step, he has committment issues (at 45 yrs of age) also he wants to date other woman. But he still continues to text, email, calls to ask me out to dinner, among other things, etc....I have started to date, moved into a new apartment, trying to let him go, Why does he still bother with me when he is free to do as he pleases?
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broke up, moved in, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (26 August 2007):
Walk and forget about it. This isn't your problem unless you let it be. He has to come to some conclusive decision.
A
female
reader, Lizz +, writes (25 August 2007):
 Plainly put, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. This man wants to have the benefit of your company with none of the strings attached. And as long as you allow him to believe it is acceptable the longer it will go on. Give him an ultimatum: Either commit or hit the road. This will force him to confront his issues with commitment and if he really wants to be with you he will commit. If he chooses the wayside, then at least you don't have to devote anymore of your precious time and energy on a fruitless endeavor. Also, realize that everything happens for a reason. If he tucks tail and runs then you're better off, and he's simply not the one for you. Undoubtedly the latter will hurt, but you have to do what's best for you. Your happiness depends on it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses, much appreciated. Btw im 42 yrs old
(ages shown are wrong)....Feel too old to play his games, need a serious lifetime companion. I guess my other question would be(which I already know the answer) is to ween off him completely? booty calls and all? Thanks again to all who answered..
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (25 August 2007):
Look for Frank B. Kermit on this site. If he didn't answer your question yet, find him and ask it. He wrote books on this kind of stuff.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): Oh, just because he feels lonely. That's all. Don't take it personally but that is how men are sometimes. It is a lot easier for you to move on because you are so young and you know? But he is older so maybe it is harder for him to meet other women. And he just feels lonely. And probably since he sees that you are moving on just fine (and not being pathetic and trying to get him back) so he himself feels a little threatened and doesn't want to lose you.But the point is that he STILL does not want to commit. He calls, he texts, but NO COMMITMENT. right?So all you gotta do is stick by your word. Be strong. He doesn't want to commit? Oh well! right? Let him call and text all he wants. You just keep moving on and focusing on what you want and worrying about who will actually give you what you want.
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (25 August 2007):
 He is bothering you because he shared something with you! And for a man of his age who has committment issues you were as serious as he allowed himself to get. Even guys with the same issues as him do have a little heart and know when they lost a good thing. However, he also knows that things arent going to get more serious with you and keeping you around will do you and him no good. Luckily you seem as if you are picking up the pieces nicely. Any break up is hard, even with a 45 year old committment phobic fool. You have to just remember that fortunately you ARE able to love, love with all your heart and keep moving forward in your life!~Dee
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