A
female
age
36-40,
*ragicBeautiful
writes:My partner of 2 1/2 years left me unexpectedly...So i'm just writing this as i have been reading through other peoples questions and i can see i relate to alot of them right now, Me and my ex partner were like ying and yang or two peas in a pod, we were totally perfect for each other and everyone knew that.. I wasn't expecting him to leave me, as we have been strong for so long. I know though that a month before we broke up things got stressful for us, he had two new job offers which he had to chose between and they were big roles, i feel like i didn't show enough support for it and i feel like he secretly resented me for this (and never discussed it with me) and then to add onto that stress i thought i was pregnant and i knew we weren't ready for that so i kept it to myself and it chewed me up inside i wasn't the best person to be around n we were on each others nerves because of it all.( i really should have talked to him about it) I don't know if i'll ever be able to make him see this is something we can work threw and not throw us away over it, I understand he is confused about everything and when i see him i can still see the feelings in his eyes for me... Ever since we broke up things seem to have just gone down hill for him so i am trying to be a supportive friend to him because i know he knows past our faults we had a great relationship... I'm so in love with him and we planned such a great future together... I just wanna show him we can get through this but i don't think he will listen... I don't know what to do to make him see... He still flirts with me and before we ended it fully we had a short break but i think i pushed him away by panicing... Now that i live in my own place and just focus on making me happy i know i still want him back and i know we could continue where we ended it as i have had alot of time to think about my faults and his faults and things that could be fixed..I've realised and changed alot of stupid behaviours i picked up along the way that could have assisted this break up but i need him to see i can be that girl again... I know that this is a fixable situation... But how can i possibley show him that? I'm just being me, ive taken the stress out of his life which i used to cause and am now just bein there for him... I know he see's the girl he fell in love with at the start... I don't wanna give up hope... Because when we hang out together lately we are always joking around and happy, its confusing into what he wants... If anyone has any encouraging advice please help... I know i should move on but i'm not quite ready too till i give it all i have... Sorry this is long. Sarah
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female
reader, Jupiter19  +, writes (11 September 2007):
Dear Sarah,
I am in almost the exact situation. My boyfriend of three years broke it off with me less than a month ago. There was confusion/crying on his part about whether we should break it off or try. Of course, I was devastated. I love him very much and would do anything to fix our relationship. I believe he is worth it. We were very mentally compatible and had great times together. Unfortunately, most advice tells me to let him go, if it's meant to be, it will be. EVERYONE advices me to let him miss me. Don't be so available. After our break-up we were getting along so well as if we weren't even broken up, it was very confusing. So I asked him what we were doing, because we are getting along as if we are not broken up, yet he moved out. He said he needed his space to take some time to think. So now he has it. I haven't spoken to him in two weeks. It is terrible!!! I think the KEY here is that you are not ready to give up. You also feel your relationship is worth it. Neither am I. I truly feel a little space will help him come to his senses, but believe me it is not easy. You have to follow your heart. Only you and your boyfriend know how you truly feel about each other. It sounds to me as if there was just some communication issues that can be worked out through some time. I wish you the best, and hope I was a little helpful.
A
female
reader, Artemesian  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Hey SarahI'm sorry to hear you are in this situation...from what you have said it really sounds like he is under a lot of stress at the moment and your relationship being stressful as well towards the end wouldn't have helped! The fact he is not only still talking to you but having a good time as well, it sounds like he might just need to settle into his new job? And regain some confidence in himself maybe as well. If you keep being a good friend to him and show him how you are now the girl you were when you first fell in love, I think it will all turn out well! He will see you are still committed to him and are there for him when he needs it. He would be a complete fool to pass it by once everything is smoothed over again. I hope it all goes well! Best of luck xo
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A
female
reader, TragicBeautiful +, writes (2 August 2007):
TragicBeautiful is verified as being by the original poster of the question Also when he broke it off with me he was balling his eyes out which leads me to wonder if he was confused about what he felt about everything because we were going threw a really tough moment... I know talking & time should resolve this... But i don't know if he will let himself listen because it still seems he is confused about it all... I think he is worried that if he returns things will just be like they were but i know they wouldn't be as things have changed and i have changed things about me to make me a better person... I wouldn't be in his face 24/7 now that i don't live with him so he'd have more time to chill out and our time together would be more appreciated.. I guess we took each other for granted and never noticed... Also when i said "I know he see's the girl he loved at the start" I'm just referring to myself... Sorry for the confusion... A few weeks ago he said to a friend "He doesn't think we work" but we have worked for the past 2 1/2 years just a month before this happened we spoke less about the issues and let it get to both of us and we really should have talked...I don't know anymore.. Just not ready to give up when i know there maybe a way to fix this...It's Pathetic i know... Sarah
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