A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everyone. Hope you can help as my feelings are all over the place. I split with my partner after just over 4 years together. That was in February and it was my decision. We didn't live together or anything and my gut feeling was that the relationship had gone as far as it could. I have a son from a previous marriage and he has two lads aged 13 and 17.Something changed within me last summer when he was away for a weeks holiday. I really didn't miss him! It was down-hill from there really. My feelings for him gradually changed and although I would still value him as a friend, when I've seen him, I've felt no attraction. I know he thinks the world of me and still wants to try and sort things out between us but I really don't think I can. I don't feel like there's enough left for me to try again and as all this time has passed by, I've really got on with life. Has anyone else been in the same situation??
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female
reader, LauraE +, writes (3 July 2007):
You fell out of love first. Unfortunately, that's often the way. Because he still loves you he is finding it hard to believe that you haven't just made a mistake, that if he waits around, or can fix whatever the problem is, you will realise that you still love him. People in love think like that - remember? :) The kindest fix, and the only one really, is to cut off contact with him until he is over you. You have no kids together, so thankfully you can do this. It may seem harsh, but still seeing him will encourage him to keep hoping. . He will get over you - you aren't the only woman in the world. Then, maybe you can be friends. But don't risk it until you know that it is over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): i can relate. i just broke up with my bf of 4 yrs 3 weeks ago. he is convinced that after a few months we will be back to how we were. at first, i thought that this was a possibility, as I do not know the outcome of the future. but, each day more that I am w/out him, I am still ok. i feel terrible for what i did to him, completely crushing his future with me, but i too could not stay in that situation. one day things just changed and i don't even really know what they were. sure, he did things that bothered me but even if he did everything how i wanted, i would still not want to be with him. so, i know what you are going through. I don't know if i have any advice for you. all we can do is hope that w/in time he too will see that it just wasn't meant to be. have faith in yourself. as long as you know that the decision you made was the right one you have nothing to question anymore.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 I did with one of my exs in my teens. Not exactly the same as we weren't together as long and didn't have kids but I just seemed to wake up one day and realise I didn't see a future with this guy and I didn't really want to be with him. I told him it was over but he wanted to work things out. I had to sit him down and explain how I felt, as much as it hurt him and it cut me up because I couldn't help how I felt but I couldn't live a lie.
Talk to your ex and tell him how you feel. As hard as it'll be now he'll look back and thank you for being honest and not trying to live a lie with him.
xxxxxxx
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