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He let me "do" him... and I think it made him feel guilty - how can I convince him it's a guilty pleasure?

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Question - (2 July 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *eth88 writes:

My boyfriend and I were fooling around, when we tried anal stimulation for the first time. He did it to me, and it didn't really do much other than make me come quicker.

But when I did it to him, it was like turning on a sex-switch. I'll just say it was very very noticeable that he enjoyed it.

After we were finished and he was back in his right mind from our frenzy, he suddenly felt guilty and awkward, saying that it was okay to stimulate me that way, but it was weird for himself to be stimulated anally, and that he didn't want to do it anymore.

I loved giving him that much pleasure, and deep down I think he loved it, so how can I make him more comfortable with it?

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A female reader, burningbridges Canada +, writes (2 July 2007):

Though it's probably a big turn on, he's not psychologically ready for it. But give him a bit of time and he may come around. Or he might not. But don't sweat it, I bet he has lots of other regions on his body worth exploring too. ;)

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A female reader, beth88 United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

beth88 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

beth88 agony auntI had tried to talk to him about it afterwards, but he refused to talk about it, only saying that he didn't want to do it anymore. I want to let it go for now, but I just wish I knew a way to make him a tad less guilty/uncomfortable.

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A female reader, Veasse United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

Veasse agony auntHi,

Dont worry this is natural...

I am a female who enjoys anal stimulation in the throes of passion and hornyness, however afterwards when the situation is different and i think about it a go a bit weird, and feel dirty and guilty.

I dont know why, but i think it could be something to do with society and how its percieved.

Anal sex and stimulation is associated with homosexual tendancies when in fact its just another G spot and it shouldnt be stigmatised.

I would suggest having a look at Em and Lo either on the internet or buy thier book "the big bang" http://www.emandlo.com/books/

I think you shouldnt pressure him, and if there is ever a next time and it just happens then maybe have a discussion about how its just another G spot and perhaps things may get a little more relaxe about it.

Veasse x

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A male reader, Helfer United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2007):

Helfer agony auntDaniellepew is right.

If I were you, I'd tell him not to feel guilty, as I have known many people to have tried this and really enjoy it!

At the end of the day it should be about what makes you both happy...and if he says he doesn't like it, then respect that, and let it go. I'm sure there are other things that he enjoys as well.

:)

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (2 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI think that the golden rule here is, "if he SAYS he doesn't like it, don't try to do it". He may be associating anal stimulation with being gay, and obviously he doesn't feel comfortable with it. Let him have his way in this one.

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