A
female
age
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*C01795
writes:I need advice regarding a relationship. I meet this man on-line and we seem to hit it off very well. He is very nice and we seem to have so much in common. Now here is the hard part.. The one draw back is that we live in two different cities. About an hour apart. He has 2 children 11 and 8 and I have 3 children and two grandchildren. My daughter who is 15 lives with me. Our x's are very involved in our children's lives.Both of us have expressed that it would be very hard to move out of our own area due to the kids, x's, schools and primarily my family. Not sure what to do. Even though this is somewhat a new relationship and we are very compatible I am concerned that this will be more and more difficult as time goes on. We are both near 50 and both looking for a long term relationship. Has anyone went through this and is there any compromise here?? Can this work... I really like him, but I am afraid this will end in heartache.... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): Yes I am still going through this and it's not easy but it will work if you both want it to.
Being compatible is important so focus on that and not on the distance. Focus on what you have now and not what might happen in the future, deal with that when it happens. There are always compromises. Find the compromises that suit you both, don't give in to what suits others.
I am 51 and my partner is 54, we live apart too. I have grandchildren and I want to be a part of their lives as they grow up. The compromise I have had to make is that I only see my partner at weekends and my granchildren through the week. The part I do not like is that my X is involved in my grandchildren's lives too and he deliberately sees them at the weekends just to draw attention to me being with my partner.
It can work but it's near impossible to move away from your area but there does not have to be any heartache and it does not have to end. The attitude with which I approached my situation changed for the better when I hit 50.
Remember you have to be in your life for yourself and then everything else around you slowly changes for the better. Good luck xx
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 An hour is not that far. Do your ex's get the kids every other week? Maybe you could sinc up your schedules and/or alternate who drives where each weekend.
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