A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:phone sex can it be away to show you love each other from a distantce ? i mean me and my man have been doing it for a while we are a way for the time being and i feel that its good because masterbation is healty but also because its better than no sexual play with your partner but my man of a year and a month seems to be wanting it from me but thats it am i that good that he cant leave and thats all he wants? i hate to think thats why he tells me he loves meplease help me i cant talk to him we verly talk but 20 mins a day if that and if we have phone sex than 40 mins and after we do he says about 10 mins later if that he has to go. whats going on? and how do you tell the one you love so much its over ? what do i say? if thats all he in deed wants!
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female
reader, susu  +, writes (2 May 2007):
im glad things are going well, best of luck
A
female
reader, susu +, writes (2 May 2007):
hi, ive been in the same situatation, probably for the best our realtionship ended. but to stick to the point of phone sex. it was ok but it frustrated me because i could not be bext to him really and i felt as i i was living a lie. all i can say is that if he stops talking ten mins later its prob cos he is knackered, have ur chit chat first then phone sex.... enjoy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell the long distance has been for only a month and we stoped the phone sex. ill be back home in a week we talked and i know he has been busy and i did call him late around 12am or one a clock in the morning and he has to get up at 3am to go to work. im in london and hes in california so where on an 8hr dif. time zone so thats why we haven't talked much. but thanks for all your help and by the way we talked about everything and the thing is he brought it up, he said that he didn't want to have anymore phone sex because he felt as he was just usen me because all we could do is talk for a few and then phone sex. we were on the phone for about 6hours he skiped sleep for me, i think that is that is sweet but thanks i cant wait to go home and give my man a hug and kiss but before i go i felt real down and thank u for risen my spirts you all and my man but also i think my mans friend was the most of all because he said my bf was real upset missing me and kept saing he cant wait till hes baby girl got home but any ways thanks huggs
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A
female
reader, JulietteElise +, writes (27 April 2007):
 first... to answer your question, phone sex can be a way for people who love eachother to feel closer and keep some of the fire alive while they are apart. However, i don't know if doing this everyday is as healthy for the relationship... or more detramental. People who love and care about eachother will find time to talk and share eachothers feelings and thoughts..... not just to "get off." Thus, used in a more considerate way, phone sex can be a good thing.... though i belive it is best used (meaning most succesfull in the relaitonship) when people who would normaly otherwise be together are in a short-term long-distince relationship due to vacation or perhaps school, etc.
So let me get this right.... you have been together (dateing) for a year and a month.... how much of this relationship has been long distince? If it has all been long distince this whole time and theres no possable way of it being non-long distince any time soon, then i would have to agree with the other person who said you should find a "real" b/f. However, if the long distince thing has only been more recent and isn't going to last forever, then i suggest you talk with him more and skip the phone sex for a few nights at least. Thus, instead of talking for 20 mins, talk maybe 30 to an hour, and then if he asks about the phone sex, just say that you'd rather keep talking, or that you have to get going. You could try explaining that even though you have enjoyed it, you feel as though all he wants from you now a days is phone sex, and that its makeing you feel used and like he dosunt really love you. If he truley cares about you he will be understanding, reasureing (but not in a way to make excusses!) and agree to go without the phone sex for awhile. If you find that neither of you has much of anything to say to eachother, after say a week or two without phone sex, then it seems to me that it wasnt a real relationship after all, but instead one that was just more about the mutual masterbation. I'm very sorry you are going through this saddness and pain and i do hope that the relationship is not just about sex. If you find out it is however, just tell him very directly that you no longer can see eachother as being b/f and g/f and that you want to move on in your life since you don't see this relationhsip as going anywhere, and want to meet soemone in "real" life. You should also reasure him that this is also best for him as well since he also deserves someone who he can actually spend time with. I suppose if you wanted to you could still call him up now and then for phone sex while you are searching for a reallife bf, but you have to make him understand that thats all it is. At your age it is still easy to meet guys, esspically if you are in college, but also easy enough to meet people through friends or people at work. I hope everything works out for the best, and once again i am very sorry to hear that you are going through this sorrow.
hugggs
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A
female
reader, Keria  +, writes (27 April 2007):
You can't build a strong relationship based on phone sex. Find someone real, someone with a face, and a body you can wrap your arms around. Think of this phone guy as being a hot erotic story. It can give you good masturbation material, but the characters are not real... After you come.. put the book down and enjoy. Do the same with this phone guy. But you don't live in a book, and you can't live on the phone.
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