A
female
age
41-50,
*ymariemelissa
writes:I am currently NOT HAPPILY married because we are not compatible...big mistake to get married too soon...Just recently I was contacted by someone that met me 15 years ago and thought I was THE ONE...and had tried to get to know me more but my parents didn't allow me then to date anyone else other than my former boyfriend...they we obsessed with him and basically didn't allow anyone else to be with me. I was young...18 and got easily influenced to marry the guy and suffered almost 10 years with him until I was able to divorce. Afterwards I felt so lonely that I met a wonderful french men, everything sounded perfect and I rushed to feel safe...not be alone and got married. After all this time the love of my life finally found me and explained to me everything that happened and how he felt forced then to step aside. Now that I have been talking to him during the last year, I have realized he is the ONE...After being dissapointed with not being able to be with me he married and has been for years struggling with facing a divorce because he does not love her. Now we are both married...realized we were always meant to be together and now specially him...faces the complication of his children and feeling he is breaking their hearts. He absolutely adores me but I want to give him the space to do things at his own pace...I don't want to be the reason but he says I am his motivation to be trully happy. What should I do, should I be a support like a friend during this process or should we stop talking until he gets it all done? HELP...I want to do the right thing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Thank you guys for your advice. I have really taken to heart your advice "oldersister". It has been super hard but finally today we decided to stop being on each other middle of chaos. Stop our relationship and give ourself time to make our own decisions. We both have enough to deal with than to be concern about synchronising our decisions....it's like you move then I move insecurity ride. I am glad I TOOK THE LEAD AND BROUGHT IT UP AND MADE HIM UNDERSTAND WHY IT WAS THE BEST. He shared his concerns that my life will turn in the opposite direction and that he won't even know. But that is the exciting part...not knowing...not planning just letting it be. Thanks again for making me see that I have act in my relationships like a monkey...hanging from one tree to another. Not letting my grip go until the next one is secure. I am proudly giving myself the opportunity to finally be free of my insecurities and live happy with who I am not who I am with.
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