A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my 24 year-old girlfriend have been dating for 3 years. We have now reached a point where I want us to get our own place together, but she still wants to stay at her parents' place.Last year she said if I got my place first then she would get hers, we would live seperately for a year then move in together. I have had my place for a year now and she has made no attempt to get her own. She now says it's going to be at least 3 years before she thinks about moving out because she wants to save up for a mortgage deposit to get her own place, but if we move in together now, she won't be able to save up as quick.So I said 3 years to save up, then another 6 to 12 months to find your own place, then you're going to want to live there so that's another year or 2, so that's going to be at least another 6 years before she even considers moving in with me.I don't know if I can wait that long and she won't budge. It's as if she set an original goalpost, I achieved it, and now she moved the goalposts.She just said whats the rush?There isn't a rush, it's just that everyone we both know are either married or living together, and none of them have been dating as long as me and my girlfriend. It feels like our relationship is standing still while everyone else's is moving forward, and it's frustrating.And in 6 years' time, I know she'll have a new set of goalposts, and we still won't move in together.What should I be doing, saying, or should I just give up and find someone who does actually want to share their life with me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Maybe she feels she needs to be married before she lives with a guy. I noticed you didn't mention anything about getting married, have you two discussed this at all?
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