A
female
age
30-35,
*onkey
writes:i have a great boyfriendi love him a lot! but for a long time bfroe i was seeing him and right now. i have had this huge crush one of my best friends but he lives miles away. about a 6 hour car journey - so pretty far away.we talk online all the time and he even calls mehe has admitted to liking me and i have admitted to liking him and once asked me would i think a relationship would work between us. but i said no and explained it was the distance. He know has a girlfriend who he likes as much as i love my boyfriendbut we still talk like we always do and he still phones me and we act like we are together despite the distanceis this bad. for his girlfriend and my boyfriend?what should i do?
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best friend, crush, has a girlfriend, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): I think you should think twice about carrying on with this online crush you have. You two are both in other relationships with other people and by 'playing this game' with each other, you and he run the risk of deeply hurting others and that's uncaring, unloving and disrespectful. It's nice that you and this online guy are friends but you both are not really using self-restraint by refraining from flirting-it sounds like you are both are romanticizing each other. And for what reason? Fun? Ego boosts? To feel good about oneself? That is the job reserved for your dating partners. People with similar tastes, values and worldviews find each other attractive, but he is living 6 hours away and he is attached to someone else, like yourself. All he is to you is fantasy. Get back into the real world, say goodbye to your online friend and start working hard with your bf-the one you say you 'love'--try to make that relationship the best it can be. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): I don't think that it is too bad, because if u love your boyfriend then it shouldn't have an effect on other people.
I have a similar situation, i've liked this guy since i was really young and he likes me too, but he lives in spain and i live in england, so i only see him about once a year when he comes over to visit family. When he's here we go out to the cinema and stuff- like dates really, and we're really close.
But i've had boyfriends and he's had girlfriends and we're both ok with that. Even though we still like each other, it doesn't change how we feel about our boyfriends (or girlfriends in his case!).
So in your situation it sounds ok to me, just try not to get too attached to your friend who lives far away. Pining is never good!
Good luck.. Keep us posted!
xx Hope xx
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