A
male
age
36-40,
JK DAS
writes:I went to a gynocologist when my wife was of 3 month pregnancy.Ultrasound done on his lab in presence of me and doctor asked my wife to meet his chamber which was 30 meter away from his lab for further checkup.Everything was ok.As per our turn I along with my wife entered the doctor's chamber.Doctor called my wife inside the screen partitioned from his chamber and checked with stathoscope and measured her weight etc.Asked for any asthmatic problem if any.Then he asked my wife to loose her top and doctor itself help her to opened her top by pulling her chain of salower from behind .He then checked with stathoscope over her bra and tried to insart his hand inside bra.my wife silently resisted doctors action.I was observing all the hapening from the glass of furniture placed opposite to taht place.but my wife did not tell me anything .Only she told me that this checkup was meaningless and it could be done on ultrasound room.What should I do if the same thing happen again in future?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): This checkup was not right. why Dr moved his wife from him to another place to do this checkup. That itself shows that he wants to do something which her husband should not see.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  + ♥, writes (25 April 2008):
 That sounds like an ordinary trip to the doctor to me. Usually the gynecologist will feel your (your wifes, I guess) breasts for any suspicious lumps... or perhaps he just needs to get a better position for his stethescope. Usually they do it right against the skin anyways - I've never had a doctor be able to check my heart over my bra.
I think that you should have your wife request a female doctor next time. That will put her more at ease - it's not an uncommon request for a woman to make.
Good luck, sweetness.
xx India
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A
female
reader, Annalisa  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 It sounds like usual procedure, but the doctor could have been more discreet. Is your wife ok with all this?
Most women preferre a female doctor. Suggest she changes to one! In any case, check-ups are never comfortable. I also think that if he had wanted to abuse your wife, the breasts are an odd place, considering the number of excuses he could have used for an internal check-up!
Anyway, if your wife feels uneasy, make sure she changes doctor and that you always go with her, if she wants you to.
Good luck with the baby and many blessings!
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (25 April 2008):
 No, if he thinks she's asthmatic, this is standard- I'm surprised he didn't check her breasts for any lumps which Doctors are usually required to do at a checkup. He had to insert the instrument inside her bra to place it over her heart and it has to be pressed down, this is why he used his hand to lift that part of the bra up. He just needed to check her breathing and he didn't do anything inappropriate. It can feel like you are being poked and prodded and it's uncomfortable but necessary. Perhaps your wife should find a doctor, a female one, she is more comfortable around.
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A
male
reader, JK DAS +, writes (25 April 2008):
JK DAS is verified as being by the original poster of the question I thank to the website and people for their valuable suggestion.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (25 April 2008):
I think it could be perfectly innocent, but it sounds a bit strange to me. The strange things are:
- Why did you have to go to a different room where you were separated from your wife? The only reason I can think of is that maybe they needed the ultrasound room for someone else, but still, it's a bit odd.
- What was he doing, anyhow? I've just had a baby and nobody listened to my heart or put a stethoscope on me at any time in my pregnancy.
Usuallly if a doctor had to put his hand in your bra he would say 'sorry' first, or he would say 'I need to put the stethoscope lower down - excuse me' or something like that. It all sounds rather odd to me.
Your wife might feel uncomfortable as well. I think you should talk to her about it, and then talk to someone at the hospital and ask for a different doctor next time, or say what happened and ask if that is normal procedure. Whatever happens, you need to sort this out, so you feel happy about the care your wife is having in her pregnancy.
As someone else said, there will be much more invasive exams of your wife at some point. When she is in labour, they will have to look at her cervix (inside her vagina), etc. You need to feel comfortable with the doctor who is doing this. Good luck with the baby!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): Definately nothing wrong here...my goodnes what on earth will you do when drs need to actually examine hergenitals or likewise when she gives birth...if you are worrying about such things as this....please be realistic and do not cause your wife unnecessary stress over these things that us women have to go through
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I dont think its unappropriate but here in england all medical examinations where a male doctor checks a woman are done with a female chaperone if one is requested and for maternity its an absolute requirement and a great deal of doctors see it as a safeguard for appropriate practice. The next time your wife goes for her ante natal appointment either insist you stay for her examinations or ask for a female chaperone to be present. Discuss these issues with your wife first to get her consent, but if she is not worried then you have to leave the choice to her.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, phiatiger +, writes (25 April 2008):
I think you are reading too much into this. Sometimes if the heart beat or breathing sounds are unclear then doctors will have to manouvere the stethescope around until they can hear what they are looking for, if this meant that his hand had to be slipped into her bra to position the stethescope then it is simply procedure. Your wife is hardly likely to mention it if she did not feel he acted inappropriately.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I personally would talk to your wife about it but just reading that made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I think you should talk to your wife and if she agrees, you should report him as I think this was highly inappropriate and he is abusing his position of trust.
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