A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my girlfriend/now ex-girlfriend broke up with me and started hanging out with a new guy friend of hers that had in the last few weeks made me jealous. I'm not going to make the assumption that they're already having sex but cuddling is a definite yes and she's stayed over at his place. This aside I've been devastated as we spent an splendid valentines day together and things have been relatively amazing this past year with her. Since the breakup she suggested we be friends and I told her that really wasn't likely. I feel like a bit of a twat, as I'm not usually that blunt, especially with someone I used to care about so much. Was I out of line for not explaining my feelings and telling her that we shouldn't see each other again?
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (23 March 2011):
Not at all. When relationships end, friendships don't necessarily have to happen. Actually, most people don't really stay friends or stay much in touch with their exes. You just saved both of you a lot of awkwardness in trying to be friends - like when you find you can't talk about anything that reminds you of when you were together, can't talk about new love interests, etc.
Just deal with your own feelings and emotions. No need to feel guilty for her - she's the one that broke up with you, and she's the one cuddling up to a new guy immediately afterwards.
A
male
reader, Drew21 +, writes (23 March 2011):
 I don't think you were out of line. In fact I feel like this is the natural way for two people who used to date but aren't anymore to behave.
I had a girl pull the same stunt on me. I'll be honest with you: it was very painful to see her after we had broken up. Too many memories and open wounds. Heck I had become friends with her brother and her family, and i found that even seeing them WITHOUT her around was incredibly hard. I finally had to cut off the entire family.
When a relationship ends the odds are that one of the two of you still has unresolved feelings for the other. It's only gonna be painful and messy for one of (if not both of you.)
I think it's best that you do exactly what you did. If she can't figure out why it is you don't want to see her anymore, then she probably didn't love you the same way you did her, anyways.
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