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Want to get married but scared of breaking it to my parents please help!

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a dilemma...i want to get married to my soulmate the girl i truly love...

but i/m scared of the whole process the growing up, breaking it to my parents.

im pakistani so i cant just go and marry her and then say mum dad i got married. i have to tell them and hopefully get their approval.

we're both muslim but shes 3 years older than me and she has a kid from her previous marriage....but me and her kid get on fine and so do me and my soulmate as much as we try to be without each other we always ends up that we're back together!

i want to tell my parents but im scared of their reaction will they disapprove? what happens if they do dissaprove?

my mum just had a operation and suffers from high blood pressue so i dont want to stress her and make her ill as for my dad we dont have the closest relationship but we talk and respect each other

View related questions: muslim, soulmate

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010):

First of all, man up.

I don't care which God you worship, or how you choose to do it. You are an adult. You live in a Western country.

You can marry, divorce, fall in love with, any person you damn well choose to do so with. You don't need permission for love.

It is a poor society that would take that away from a person, man or woman.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, sirbronson Australia +, writes (13 August 2010):

write a note to your girlfriend regarding how you feel about her and mention how you cherish the time you spend with her and cant see yourself with anyone else. then ask your parents 2 proofread it before giving it to her.

watch your parents reaction/ surely they want the best for you.

maybe also go back to your religious past 2 reinforce that you were both meant to be wed.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2010):

DrPsych agony auntI think you should leave it until your mother is feeling better. If you are mature enough for marriage then you can face up to your parents. You may find they welcome your new bride into the fold. I think that if you love this girl enough to get married then you have to be able to weather any resistance from other people. My parents were definitely not thrilled when I married my husband (in fact we didn't speak for over a year). However they came around in the end once they realised the relationship made me happy. I think you have to stand up for what you want out of life. If you are fortunate enough to have met and fallen in love with a nice girl then congratulations and don't let her go. It doesn't have to cause world war three at home with the parents. Just pick a good moment to tell them, introduce her to them and allow them to get to know her.

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