A
female
age
51-59,
*arriedManMagnet
writes:As a teacher I am off for the summer. During the school year, I frequent a coffee shop in the morning before going to work. When September rolled around, I met up with the morning gang. This is comprised of sanitation workers, police officers and truck drivers. They are all men and I have known them for three years. We chit chat every morning for about fifteen minutes a day. I noticed that there was a new addition to the "gang." He is so handsome and I am very attracted to him. He stares at me. I can feel him stare at me. The other guys mentioned it as well. About a week later he introduced himself to me and shook my hand. He asks me a lot of questions in the morning. If I am late he waits for me. I looked at his ring finger--NO RING! But that means nothing in this day and age. He continues to stare and only talks to me. The other men in the coffee shop try to talk to him but he is totally into talking to me. He asked me what plans I had for Columbus Day weekend and I explained to him that I was going to Disney to meet my ex-husband as he just returned from Iraq and we are surprising our eight year old daughter. He asked if we were staying in the same room as well as many other questions. As I was about to leave the store he told me that he would miss me. I know he has a son and he told me where he lives. He is constantly telling me how beautiful I am. He gets irritated when the other guys try and join our conversation. I haven't had the nerve to ask him if he is married. I try to figure out if he is but want to assume otherwise. A few weeks before all the compliments, we were looking at his uniform and it always looks like crap. We assumed (the guys too) that he is no longer married because who would let their husband walk out of the house like that. After the guys left he stated "My uniform looks like this because I am curtious." I did not ask him to elaborate. What should I do? Do you think he is married? If he is, don't you think that it is somewhat nervy to be so flirty? Do you think he is just flirting or he wants more? I am so confused!
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female
reader, Midge  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 I agree, in todays society you cannot assume anything about anyone. Just because he isnt wearing a ring, doesnt mean to say that he isnt married.
When you are next talking, I would just mention something that would trigger a response to say if he were married or not. Like if he were to mention about his uniform being untidy, you should say something like "and your wife doesnt mind your uniform being untidy?" It would automatically give an indication of "yes, she minds" or "no, I am not married".
That way you are not directly admitting that you like him, and want to know his marital status.
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