A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, Before this I never thought it would be such and issue. My boyfriend and I had been dating for a year and a half. Our sex life went from several times a week to like three times a month, and it is always me asking a being very upset. I have a very high sex drive and I am losing all my patient. I never thought it would be such and issue and can ruin a relationship so deep. And the other problem is he doesn't like oral, he does it like four times last year for me. Basically our sex life sucks. I am just so upset and hurt. I can't live like this anymore, so many disappointing nights crying my self to sleep. I tried everything but nothing works. Is this the end?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 I agree with brit473. There are a few things you need to do / realize:1) His sex drive may not be as high as yours. Try as you may like, that may not change. You may have to accept that. You may have to make a decision as to whether he brings other things to the relationship table that outweigh his skills in the bedroom. Sadly, this could be a very a deal breaker -- many a marriage has fallen apart on account that it was sexless (forcing one partner to fulfill their needs elsewhere).2) Have a talk with him. Ask him something about you has changed (have you gained weight, have you gotten lazy with your looks) and that you are concerned that he doesn't find you attractive. Tell him that you feel hurt and that you want to make things better. See how he reacts to your concerns.3) Explain to him that you like oral sex. Also make sure you that you are "pleasant" down there. A partner should do just about anything (within reason) to pleasure their partner. 4) Bring your A-game at least once a week. Wear some sexy, go out on a classy date, go to a motel, cook him a special meal. You may have to romance him a bit. Have some experimentation in the bedroom.5) Hit the book store and find some interesting books on igniting your love life. Do this together. Find one that is both tasteful and that you think will work.Ultimately, you'll have to see what works for you and if nothing does, you'll have to figure out for yourself if he is worth keeping.Good luck.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 So, something has changed. What has changed? When did it change? What was happening at the time? How long into the relationship.
What have you tried?
There can be so many reasons. Work, bad diet, stress, cheating, honeymoon being over.
Take a calendar and write down what happened, before, during and after the change.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Yeah, if you've tried everything and nothing works then it's time to move on and find someone who is sexually compatible with you.
It really is too important to just let go. No sex and you might aswell be just friends so just go ahead and make him your friend and find another guy.
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A
male
reader, brit473 +, writes (10 April 2011):
Hon there are many ways to improve a sex-life, and I'd go on, but mostly its just plain common sense! We all know that there's a Honeymoon period when we all make like bunnies, but that inevitably wears off. One or other partner just seems to 'settle in' This doesnt mean he or she loves or is committed any less, but more that they've cozied into a relationship. On the other page - harsh and painful as it no doubt is, may be the cold fact that you're with a guy who simply hasn't got as high a sex drive as you, and though you love him, choices must be made. Sex is important in a relationship and cant be underestimated, so it may be that you have to find someone else to share your drive and who enjoys the aspects of sex that you do. xxx
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