A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm in a horrible bind and i need some advice, please!i have been seeing this girl for a couple of months now, but not officially. we started off extremely slowly and have progressed to the point where she stays a handful of nights out of the week. but i've avoided putting an actual label of "commitment" or "relationship" on us because i'm very unsure of what i want. she's everything i could ever want when it comes to personality and emotions. she's very mature, stable, rational, and overall PERFECT for me as far as compatibility goes. we have never had an argument or even come remotely close. we talk things out if anything is bothering us. but it's lacking drastically in the physical aspect of our relationship. at least for me. i'm just not into her sexually. and i know it's not the end all be all of a relationship - far from it. but it's important, nonetheless. and i've told myself to give it time and see if it won't eventually change. but it just hasn't. that's the reason why i've lacked putting a title on us, although i'm sure she's under the assumption we are together. now on to my next problem. i met this girl that i'm EXTREMELY into sexually, but there's nothing there emotionally. i made the mistake of giving in to my desire and having sex with her the other night. i know it was wrong because i've been spending time with this other girl, but i can't take back what i've done at this point. and all it did was confuse the hell out of me even more because sex with her had all the intensity that i should feel with the other girl. it made me realize just what i was lacking. well, as it turns out, this girl is also very, very clingy and now is wanting us to be in a relationship. so now i have two women who if you put together, make up the perfect girl for me. but neither of them make me completely happy individually. so what the hell do i do? help me, please! i am not condoning my behavior about sleeping with another girl while i have been seeing this other girl. i have no justifications for it. it was wrong. but i can't change the past now. all i can do is move forward. and i'm legitimately super, super confused. not trying to hurt anyone. thanks in advance! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emily20  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 My dear,first of all you dont even know what you want,no body can make this right but,just you ,you need to focuse on what you want,the problem yeah is,the two girls you are dating you are not into them,you are just lost in lust,you need to let go of them,and waite for the right woman or you stay with the first one that you are emotional attache to,and make this right concending your sexual attraction to her,you are the center of attraction here,you need to sit down and ask yourself what you really want and decide it,because the virtue of true love is not loving the perfect person,but finding the inperfect person,and loving them perfectly,you alone can shape your dreams so,make it right goodluck.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 Ok so this first girl she has everything but she does not do it for you sexually and we would be kidding ourselves if we said that it did not matter, because of course it does. But with this other girl, all it is based on is pure sex and nothing else, you do not click and you really do not want to be with her, it is just the sex that is drawing you to her.
I think you have a good opportunity with this girl you have been seeing. The sex life needs a boost but that is it. Do you find her attractive? If you do well then there are all sorts of books you can both have a giggle over while you try new things. Trying new positions and teaching her what it is that you like can help a lot. Not every man is the same when it comes to what turns them on so you should both try new things and see where it leads. My advice would be to stay away from this other girl and just give this a chance, if trying new things does not help then you can think about what your next step is going to be. Good luck.
...............................
|
