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male
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*ob hawkins
writes: i always run out of things to talk about with girls and then it turns into awkward silence can u help?and i never get happy drunk why could this be i smoke alot while drinking and dont smoke normaly would this mong me out?plz reply
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Talking with girls is like talking with any of your own friends. The best tactic is always to ask friendly questions and listen to the answers. People who do that always end up making other people feel good, and generally they get a reputation for being "good at conversation", in spite of mostly being a listener.
Don't worry about saying things to try to impress girls. Mostly they won't believe you anyway. Instead, ask people/girls about what they do for work, what they study at school, how they chose that, what's interesting about what they do, what they hate about it, what kinds of things they do when they get time off. Ask about the kinds of holidays they like to go on, whether they have pets or kids or a big family. Ask what brought that person to wherever it is that they are for you to be talking with them. Ask about music likes and dislikes and why... Then listen to the answers and ask "why do you say that?"
You'll find out heaps about the person, they'll love to talk to you (because people almost always love to talk about their own interests), and you're unlikely to run out of things to ask for quite a while.
Only one caveat: don't ask too many scary personal questions like, "where do you live?" Keep it general, as in, "Are you a local?"
As to the drinking, why not give it and the smoking a miss for a while and see what the difference is for you? You've tried drinking and smoking and chatting up girls, and it didn't work out, right? Now try a new tack: have a soft drink, smile at people and be a genial conversationalist. Then you'll end the night having been distinctly, memorably different from most of the other fellows and lots more attractive to girls than guys who spend their evenings as whiffy, flatulent beer-filled ashtrays.
(Can you tell I don't like drunks?)
Best of luck with it.
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