A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How to make myself look older? I'm 19 and I guess I look my age or less. I probably look 20 or 21 if I wear make up or maybe even my age some people say. However, I would like to look older maybe 23 or something. My boyfriend is 34 and its weird when I go out with him and people look at us like its weird.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): U dont need to make ur self look older, it doesnt matter what people think or the way they look at it, you just ignore them. If your boyfriend accets u the way u are then why are you even bothered? huh?, dont be crazy use your brain, x
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Trading in your long locks for a shorter sleek bob, something up to date..Shorter hair makes you look older. Keep make-up at a minimal, natural, highlight your best features, and use earth tones. Dress conservatively, cardigans, polos, crew necks, dresses, nothing too loud...check out J.Crew, Banana Republic, and the Limited. Now, if you're one of those girls who just look younger than what they are no matter what then your stuck...Frankly, it's a good thing. I wouldn't be so concerned at what people think or the weird looks you get. You're going to be getting that a lot because of the 15 year age gap, or maybe they think you look younger than that.
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A
female
reader, StrightsGaga  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 hey again, if i'm honest it doesn't matter how many kids he's had. All that matters is you love each other, as long as you accept each other and don't feel you can't kiss him in public do it if you want to its got nothing to do with anyone and i'd do it just to annoy all those judgemental people.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 September 2010):
Hi again. If you are genuinely happy together, see how it goes over time.
Does it worry you that he has been married 3 times? That's quite a lot. One thing you need to be sure of is whether he is the type who is fine while things are going smoothly, then bails out as soon as things get a bit rocky. Because it seems like that to me. You have only just met, so haven't had any tough times yet.
He might not take responsibility too well. As he has three marriages behind him and 3 kids as well. I am wondering if he was happy until the children came along, then the going got tough (with sleepless nights, a partner who is constantly tired etc.), got sick of it - then left! Perhaps he has done this 3 times. Marriage, baby left x three. It's possible. He's not likely to tell you this though, voluntarily.
As much as you say you like him now. I'm sure he is a wonderful guy and treats you well. But some men just can't handle the responsibility that goes with being a father. That's something to really think about. When you get to know each further down the track, see if you can get onto the subject of relationships and babies, and see what he says about everything. If you haven't already talked about it, at some time why don't you ask him what happened. What went wrong. But the trick is to not be too probing with your questions, as he might smell a rat. Just be really casual and relaxed. Do it in good spirit and respectfully.
Another option (also when you know each other better), is to start to talking about relationships, people and what you might like to do in your future. You could start first, then it will encourage him to tell you what he wants for his future. But keep it relaxed and casual, nothing too serious. Don't pressure him into telling you if he seems hesitant to do so. If he is reluctant, then just drop the subject and talk about something completely different. And another thing, don't get upset or angry if you don't get the type of answer you want to hear.
This truly is something that will need to be discussed eventually, especially if you do go out for a few years and it starts to get serious. Because you don't want to wife no. 4, a baby then another divorce.
It's always better to know upfront, what each other's hopes are for the future. However, this step can't be taken for quite a while. It can't be forced.
But don't jump into marriage without knowing everything about each other. So many people do this, then wonder why their marriages didn't last. It was because they didn't talk about everything before walking down the aisle.
Anyway, more food for thought.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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female
reader, StrightsGaga +, writes (8 September 2010):
i'm nearly 16 and when i go out the only people i seem to attract is middle aged business men (not a bad thing) but i know what you mean when i talk to them not doing anything else people stare going hes way to old to buy her drinks she should be with somebody younger and i'm like god age is but a number when its love its love it'll come when it comes with whoever just ignore these people there just judgmental people who don't have an idea about you at all they don't know whats its like behind closed doors.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes He been married 3 times and has 3 kids.
And I know I didn't mentioned it but he's an amazing guy and he's everything I ever wished for but its frustrating when people just look at us weird like he shouldn't be dating someone my age. I even don't want to kiss in public. One day we went out to eat and I went out to pick up my moms call and a guy around my age told me I'm too pretty to be going out with a guy that's soo much older than me.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (8 September 2010):
Hello again. (Message 2 - A continuation to my last posting, it was incomplete).
It also sounds like because that 15 year age difference seems so obvious to other people, that it worries you more than you realize. If this is true, it is going to start getting in the way of really knowing each other.
Relationships need to grow and develop over time. If this age gap is such a big thing to you, that's never going to happen.
If you don't discuss this with your new boyfriend, it's going to niggle at you and make you very unhappy. You have to be honest with yourself and with him. Ask him if it does worry him.
As the relationship seems to be in the very early stages from what you say, it needs to happen sooner rather than later.
I can only go on what you have said about wanting to look older than you are. You haven't stated that he's got a great personality, sense of humour, his good looks, interests etc. So at the moment, it seems like the age difference is all you can think about. It's like you can't move past it.
Have a really good think about everything and sleep on it even, and see how you feel in the morning.
If it's so big a thing to you and it's not just what other people think about it, you are probably having doubts yourself otherwise it wouldn't bother you in the first place. That seems clear.
So don't try to start looking for ways to look more mature, that's not the real issue here. The real crux of the matter, is that deep down you are having doubts because of the looks you are getting from other people as they walk past you.
Perhaps to some people, it looks like your boyfriend is taking his kid sister out and with this in mind, it seems strange to them that you act affectionately towards each other (the way a couple would).
It all comes down to what makes you happy. If you genuinely like this guy and he treats you well (and as an equal), and you both are happy together, then just take it a day at time and see how it goes. Age difference doesn't have to be a barrier.
As long as you share some common ground and interests, there will be something to begin with and see how it develops over time. Your interests may not be the same, as he has already been through your stage of life so he might not be interested in partying and going out to nightclubs anymore like he did when he was your age. He might only like to go there because he knows you like to go there, thereby doing that to please you.
At 34 years of age, he is about the age where he is about ready to settle down and get married and have children. Most men by age 34 years are well and truly married and buying a house etc.
Now that I'm on the subject, has he ever been married? Does he have children? If you don't know already, it will come out as you get to know each other more. It's not an issue if he has been, but could be if there are any children. If he has never been married that's not unusual either.
This is also something you need to think about. Not just the age difference, but what it really means. It's the difference in life stages that could become a problem over time, because your interests might clash with his. You might want to go out sometimes, and he wants to stay home and watch tv. In the early stages of a new relationship the difference won't be evident, but it will over time. That's when you will start to argue over it. Unfortunately, it's a thing that can't be changed. But really does need to be taken into account, as to whether you think that you could live with it. It could become very restrictive to you.
Anyway, just go with what your heart tells you. If it feels right, do it. If not, do whatever it takes to make it right. In any case, it does need to be at least talked about with him and both be completely honest with each other when you do. Do this before proceeding any further with it.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (8 September 2010):
Hi there. There is a 15 year difference. Is this so important to you, and if so why?
If you are happy when you are in each other's company, surely that's far more important than what other people think.
The way you say it, it sounds like it is an issue to you. What about your boyfriend, what does he say about it?
The worst thing you can do in life, is to live every day of your life worrying about what other people think. Because then what happens is, you start modifying what you do to try and please other people, in the hope that they will approve of what you're doing. If this keeps up for any length of time, then one day you realize you're doing everything just to please others and not what makes you happy. Then you are just living a lie, because it's not what you would do if you were pleasing yourself and being honest with yourself.
Somehow it does sound like this relationship is only fairly new, because if it was well established, the age difference wouldn't be a problem.
It also sounds like the 15 year ago difference is so obvious to other people, that it's getting in the way of really getting to know each other better. If any
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Don't worry, age has a way of making you look it as time goes by. When you get older you will wish you were younger, trust me it will come naturally.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (8 September 2010):
 live according to ur age. dress accordin to ur age.there will be a time where u wont be able to wear a short skirt or anythin like that. im sure this guy likes u. no need to change urself for him.
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A
female
reader, StrawberryYouth +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I'm 16, but look around 14 or 15. I hate looking younger, but have no intention to look older. I'd say ignore how people see you and your boyfriend. They don't know how old either of you are, so it's none of their concern. It's only a matter of time before you will want to look younger again. But if you truly want to look older, try different clothing.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
 LMAO! I thought of something else you could do. Instead of wearing make up, don't wear any. Stay up extra late so you look tired and dragged out.
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A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (8 September 2010):
i agree with the clothes idea that can really change your age when i was 16 i dressed up as my aunt for a high school event and people thought i was 30 or more although the proffessional look might not be right just dont wear tanks or flashy shirts n girly denims
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help :-)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 September 2010):
Ha, most girls like looking younger. Who cares what people think? You shouldn't. One way is to dress more maturely. Go for the professional look.
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A
female
reader, lausha +, writes (8 September 2010):
im 18 and i loved to look my age i look 24/25 its shit, aslong as your happy with your boyfriend let them give you weird looks for all they know your boyfriend might be 23 but looks alot older its no one elses bussines but yours x
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