A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a fantastic woman for about 4 months. Our sex life has been great during this time. I adore and respect her hugely but I've been dumped for stepping out of line. The woman has indicated in a number of ways a fairly liberal mind on saucy fun with me - she conveyed dominatrix fantasies and has been suggestive about having some fun with food. She's been pretty open to my mind about sexual boundaries. So after sharing a whole bottle of tequila one evening, I thought (or perhaps didn't think!) that I'd get saucy and kinky in the bedroom and introduced my hair clippers for a bit of shaving fun! Hes response was one of complete horror and left me in a total meltdown as I never wanted to offend or upset her. There was never any kind of issue on the subject - I just felt, given her openness to boundaries she might find it a turn on or just say no and laugh it off. Not the case. She's hugely upset and has basically broken the whole thing off. I'm obviously devastated because it's been difficult to assess mixed messages and I'd never intend to cause upset. Is there anything I can do to resurrect this? She says she doesn't look at me the same way now and has lost "that lovin' feeling". It's been horrendous and I'm torturing myself over it.
View related questions:
mixed messages, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers offered. I've done the begging, 'please try and see it for what it was' stuff but no joy. Don't think she'll ever accept but in some ways this gives me a measure of whether her feelings for me actually ran that deep. As time goes by and we don't talk, it's become such a big issue its become a mountain of an obstacle for her to move past. I decided not to talk to her for a while, maybe she might reflect a little and change perspective but what do I know - that's why I put this on here !!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): I think she really is all talk and no walk because someone who HAS been giving open signals wouldn't even be as offended as she was except perhaps if she is very 'girl power'y and felt that would take way her womanliness, even so, it shouldn't change how she sees you much..maybe she was trying to present herself to you as the way she thought you would like her but when it comes down to it she's not that girl, or the girl she wants to be. Iwould just explain to her again your drunken state, the mixed signals, and beg for forgiveness even if it does seem a little unwarranted
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Stop feeling guilty she has the problem not you! and her reaction is bad taste and shows no consideration for your feelings.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 November 2008):
Well there is a difference between wanting to lick cream off someone and wanting to put moving blades on them.
Just talk to her about it and explain she was giving out signals that she would be open to suggestion and you would have never done it if she hadn't been so suggestive.
You may just have to accept that she is all mouth and says a lot of things that she would never actually do in real life.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
