A
female
age
41-50,
*istressed Wife
writes:Hi its me again. Ever since that foursome episode, my husband and I have not had sex with each other since we do not live together. (Its a discrete marriage)Now, we had made a plan to spend the whole day together and guess what? He hs asked me so many times in hints if we should invite that couple over. I asked him that last time also we couldn't have sex with each other because both of us couldn't concentrate. Now this time should be ours only. I really love him and want to have intimate moments with him but he said that we have been having sex for ten years now and if some fun is coming, we shouldn't stop it. I like te fun part but I am too confused as to where this relation is heading. Should I stop having sex with him at all?? May be he would realize that I have intimacy needs not just FUN needs. What should I do?
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not interested in sex, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): sounds like everyone his entertaining him....be true to yourself and your needs or you will be unhappy.
A
male
reader, ak202  +, writes (31 August 2008):
You should talk to him and tell him that you understand he wants fun, but that you want to spend time alone with him. Tell him that you cherish those intimate moments just between the two of you. He should understand.
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A
female
reader, whoknowsathing +, writes (31 August 2008):
hi. Are you saying your husband wants to have sex with more 'people' than just you? This changes your entire life-marraige and YES, it's a big freaking deal. Maybe you like the idea ...BUT... You can't 'un-do it'. If you don't want to share you sex lives outside the two of you and he does... did ya tell him? If I told my husband 'no way' and he pushed it, I'd know I married the wrong guy, period, end of story. We share the same idea about marraige. Maybe you don't? That's cool too. (Neither is better..just different.) Anyway, I think My guy, should love me enough to respect 'my' boundaries MORE than wanting to have sex with other people. Maybe for you it's vice - versa? That's just my take on it. Good luck, either way!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): No, Distressed, you're not inadequate - I remember from your last post how inconsiderate your husband was to you, and it seems he's continuing.What should you do? When your husband hints at another three/foursome, you look at him with loving, but firm, eyes and say "Sorry, name here, I don't want that; this is OUR TIME now, and I don't want others with us. If we don't get enough just-us time, it's going to start *seriously* affecting my feelings about you, so don't bring this up for a while. Yes, I enjoy it, but Not All The Time. I need OUR TIME, and you're going to have a pissed-off wife if you don't let up."
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