A
female
age
41-50,
*z_lani1
writes:I am really tired of my fiance's bullshit. I just asked him to go to the store for us cuz we needed food for the house--boy did he have a fit. he kept laggin about goin, he still layed on the bed n didnt move, i wan on the computer doing my online skool, n didnt want to go cuz it was cold. I know it was a stupid ass excuse. So i got myself ready and my son, who is sick with a runny nose and i took him anyway cuz i cant stand my fiannce. He is getting on my last nerve that I am about close off the edge to just leave him n let him be. I mean its only obvious right? He dont want to do anythang. Jus lay around the house n get high. Lets not forget that he doesnt have a job. He just got laid off from his boat job n waiting for an open position. I dont care, I want him to get up off his ass every morning to go look for whatever job that he can get a hold to til he goes back on his reagular job as a Merchant Marine. I am sick of his ass playing mind games all day n lets not forget that he keeps borrowing money from his grandma n his mother n his stepfather. I need major help. Im doin the best that I could do as a mother, friend, fiance, and should I say a housekeeper as well too? Im just so fed up with this..I wanna leave but I know that we can work things out. He even knows about me asking for some advice on here, n do u think I care if he do? NO..Im strong enough to leave but am I just running away from a problem that he and I have built? I need help people..Im goin crazy trying to make the next move, and I dont know what that move is..I think I really need to pray hard on this..and follow my heart..But wut if my heart says "stay" but yet leave n end up wit someone else who do worse..I dont kno anymore..I need a break away from him..HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP.
View related questions:
a break, fiance, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 December 2008):
 Okay, it's more than clear that you need to finish with this relationship. Please don't get married to this man, can you imagine feeling like this for the rest of your LIFE?? You will be miserable, stressed out and exhausted. He may be a nice guy who you love, but you have to recognize a destructive relationship when you see one.
You're just not right for each other. You seem like a strong, ambitious woman - being a single Mom, and going to school - you need to find someone with similar goals. Why don't you take a class at a community college where you can meet guys who go to school? At least you know that they're doing SOMETHING productive with their lives. As for your fiancé, well he just needs to get himself together and find someone who can tolerate this kind of lazy lifestyle.
You can find somebody MUCH better than him, someone who will make you feel both secure and loved. You deserve it, so does your son. He deserves a good role model, like PiggyToes said.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 Generally people don't change their patterns of behavior once they are established so don't expect him to change much.Having said that no one likes responding to orders. I know that even if I appear to be doing nothing much and my wife were to come and say "I need X Y and Z from the shop would you go and get it now" I would not be specially happy about it. But when she says, in the morning, "It would be really helpful if sometime today you could drop by the shop and pick up x, y and z and anything else you think we need", the feeling is totally different because I'm being asked for help and I can fit it into my plan for the day. Same theory applies to children - in fact getting husbands to do stuff happily is much the same as getting a 6 year old to do it.
...............................
A
female
reader, piggytoes1818 +, writes (13 December 2008):
Honestly he won't get better. If he is like this now he won't change, you can't change a guy. Also how old is your son? This relationship isn't good for your son to experience becuase your future husband seems like he would not be a good a role model. I know you probably want a dad for your son, and a more normal comfortable life, but this isn't it. Go out and find a nice sweet caring giving man who will do anything for you. It will pay off!
...............................
|
