A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I was seeing a woman who has 'domineering' kids who basically run her life. We ended things because her kids objected her dating me, out of jealousy. They basically tell her what she can do! Why is it that each time I try to pick it back up with her, things go well for a few days and then, BAM! She disappears and I cannot contact her anymore. She shows interest and then disappears? Any ideas? thanks.
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 I agree with mandy7. If the children are young then its understandable that they are confused by having a new father figure on the scene, and dont want you to replace their dad in their moms eyes. Also like mandy said, they will protect their mom at whatever cost.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): HI HUN,
First how old are the children? And what were the circumstanses of the father leaving? also do they still have contact.....?
Guilt is one word I can give you, she may feel terrible guilt by her children that there father is'nt in their life anymore as much or ever. They may see her as their only solid and stable adult in life. And that is very hard for children to come to terms with another man coming on the scene and taking mums attention and love..... So they will do almost anything to stop that from happening as they are threatened..
Has you lady friend been abused before by a man, another reason for this problem...
Its not easy in a situation like this, it is a much harder job for a stepfather than a biological one, Unconditional love is what you get with a mother and her children and the children will protect that at any cost.
Its not impossible I thought it would be I went through hell with my boys, but I was abused so thats where their protection came in, my middle child very much so, didnt trust a single man its all worked out fine now, You cant look at the children in a there domineering way, if they were to be telling her how to run her life on a daily basis...I.E Fetch me this cook me that tidy my room now...
Then she has to get that sorted out as that is not right,
But if its when you pop up then they are worried Id say even though it comes out shitty, Try getting closer to the children take an interest in their lives, if you want to date a woman with children Im afraid they come with it...
I hope my babbleing helped a little..TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
|
