A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused?
writes:This is really weird, so i'll try and explain. I've just started 6th form and there's this girl i've just met who ever since i first saw her i felt really drawn to her. By the way, this isn't some lesbian crush, i know i'm perfectly straight and it isn't like that. Anyway, i feel this kind of desire to possess her in some way, like i get really jealous if my other friends talk to her - i have to be the one she's with. For example, in one lesson, i usually sit with these two friends i've known for years but now i'm trying to think of all these ways i can sit next to this other girl instead. But the truth is, i don't genuinely like her that much as a person. I have to be with her but don't actually enjoy it that much!Its kind of freaking me out, the way i like think about her all the time and even downloaded some music just because she said she liked it (now thats a crush kind of thing to do but i'm sure its not like that). I've never in my life even imagined being with a girl like you know, it just seems wrong, but find myself doing this now - like if i'm honest with myself i wouldn't mind kissing her. I can't believe i just said that. I'm totally freaked out... If anyone knows how i'm feeling i'd appreciate their advice or own experience. Thanks a lot.
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crush, jealous, kissing, lesbian Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, unknown x +, writes (10 September 2008):
 Hi :),
by the sounds of it, you are attracted to her in some way, but you may just have never experienced this before, and so are incorrectly labelling your feelings. Generally, if you wouldn't mind kissing someone(!), you are quite attracted to them!
I have been in a similar situation before, and it really freaked me out to start with. I didn't understand the way i was feeling, and felt really embarrassed. This may just be a one off crush and a 'phase', especially if you've never experienced it before. On the other hand, it might lead you to a different realisation about your sexuality.
Good luck, hope things turn out okay. Feel free to mail me privately if you want to chat :).
Best wishes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): I don't know what you're feeling, but I've felt it too. And indeed, it is very freaky. It did gradually fade though... so I would say just wait it out.
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A
female
reader, Seeker  +, writes (10 September 2008):
As you have described it, your attraction does sound like something a little beyond the bounds of simple friendship. Possibly you're bi-curious. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I've made out with other girls in the past and it was fun, but I've never found myself with any desire to date or sleep with one.
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