A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I'm sure there's been numerous topics like this but, there's this girl that's in my summer school class that I just got to know. She just told me that she liked me, but the problem is that I don't feel the same way. She confessed on the phone and I had no idea what to say, making it pretty awkward. I just feel really bad now, because I know it takes a lot of guts to confess and it hurts to be rejected. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like doing things to others that I don't like myself, so I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but I just can't bring myself to accept her feelings because my feelings towards hers are just as friends. How can I tell her now that I still want to be friends, but only friends, after what must have sounded like a rejection from me..even if that is where I stand at the moment?Thanks for any advice Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (24 July 2007):
Maybe explain to her that she is extremely attractive but you do not feel the chemistry that should be there for the relationship to work from your point of view.Maybe explain that the love you feel for her is like a love you feel for a very close frind or a sister and by pursuing this into a fully fledged relationship you would only be lying to yourself and eventually you would both get hurt far more than she could ever be hurting now.Maybe even explain how touched you were that someone as gorgeous as her found you worth the effort of coming on to and thank her very much for the offer.Maybe explain that you find her friendship far too valuable to risk loosing via a relationship that would ruin this special thing you have together if it ever were to go wrong.I hope this has helped.
A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (24 July 2007):
I would just say that you really like her, but as a friend only and leave it at that. If you say 'we'll see what happens later on', it sounds like you think you might be interested. That would be unfair as she might think you are just asking for time, and she might wait around for you.
I know that looks like you have to hurt her feelings, and you don't want to do that, which is why you asked this question. But the only thing you can do is to be as nice as possible about it, but be honest. This is hard for you - unfortunately this happens sometimes - and you just have to be honest about your feelings. She will respect you for your honesty even if she is embarassed or a little hurt. Obviously, you will not tell anyone else about this either. She will also respect you for that.
After you have done this, accept her choice in however she wants to deal with it. If she doesn't want to return a smile and a wave when you meet, then leave her to herself until she wants to speak again.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789  +, writes (24 July 2007):
 Hi, Just tell her that you dont want to be in a relationship with her right now because you dont know her that much and you just want to stay friends with her, but dont do it around everyone because then she will feel worse, but just get her by herself and tell her listen I dont really know you that well and I want to stay friends with you and we can see what happens later on. Good luck
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