A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey..The way my boyfriend has been behaving lately makes me feel very very insecure, but he still tries to give the picture of normality all the time. basically, we communicate less now than we used to before, but its been decreasing gradually, not suddenly, and whenever we do talk, he is all nice and sweet to me, totally normal. like this afternoon i called him and he didn't answer the phone, (he was with a client) but he didn't get around to calling me back until 5 hours later! The whole of last week, we only talked twice! two days, out of seven!! i feel as if he just doesn't bother about me anymore, but then when we do communicate, he behaves as if nothing has changed! but in my head, things have changed!! i haven't said anythin much to him about this, and we should be meeting in the next 2 or 3 days, so i know i have to tell him that all these things bother me, but i think i may be overreacting to it all just a little bit. but that's me! i can't deal with what is going on.. i tend to overreact, i know, i am very intense, i know, i tend to worry a lot about little things, i know, but that's me!! that's how i am! but i don't want to seem like i have too much baggage or like i'm clingy, but at the same time i am not ready to accept what is going on. my major complaint is that there is too little communication. and no it is not long distance. we live in the same city. this has been goin on for the past one month, but in this month he has also done really sweet things that show he really cares. but in the past one week, like i said we have hardly talked. we have been dating for 6 months now. tell me if you think this means he doesn't care anymore, or if you think he just doesn't realise, or what! and tell me what you think i should say so that i don't sound all needy. i need for him to put more effort into us!! into communicating.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey..
thanks for ur replies..
the thing is.. i'm not sure he wants me to give him space, because i was really pissed off that night (the day he took 5 hours to call me back).. i kinda told him that i felt he's been neglecting me in different words, and he complained that i don't initiate much communication and that it always has to be him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): If you notice a change in his normal habits of calling and communicating with you (which you do) then no I don't think you are being paranoid. Something might be up but I don't think it is anything bad that you need to really worry about. You say that he shows that he still loves you right?
If I were you I would not mention this to him and I would try instead to give him space. Let him bounce back to his normal behavior on his own terms. Like try not to call him when he is at work. And for now just let him call you. I say this only because you two have not been dating for very long and certainly you don't want to come across as paranoid and needy, like you say. And he is sort of giving you hints that he might need a little space. Men are like rubber bands. The more you pull away the quicker they bounce back. But he is kind of giving you hints, so, from now on, let him do the initiating of everything (phone calls, dates), and if you trust him and love him, then continue trusting that he is going to bounce back if you just give him some space.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): hi ......the way u were explaning ur situation itself tells me that u are a person full of emotions but i liked the way u put all facts at the same time u know what u should do. u are clear in ur thoughts ... but is that a doubt on ur boyfriend or is that possesiveness? take care..., u urself can handle it beautifully when u discuss this with him.
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