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female
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anonymous
writes: So I have been with my B/f for 7 months, but i started Just Talking to one of my guy friends and have become attracted to him, my B/F went out of town for the weekend, and the new guy that im attracted to and i stayed on the phone all night, i am really starting to like him, but i no i LOVE my boyfriend and couldnt imagine him with anyone else. the thought of it makes me ill, but the thought of being with this new guy makes me happy. I really dont no what to do. I cant fight the feelings, but I cant leave my B/f, or atleast i dont think i can, anyone know how to help...i dont want to hurt either, but the new guy cna already tell i kinda like him?!? PLAESE HELP!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): I believe you've aswered your own question, you say your 'attracted' to this friend but you 'love' your boyfriend. Since when is attraction love? attraction can be self deceptive, it can lie, it can fool us into beliveing we feel something stronger than we do. For a start it is not abnormal to find other people attractive in a relationship, infact i would think you strange if you didn't! There are probably many people out there that we can have relationships with, but only one that we choose to be with and committ to and again you have answered that question as you cannot see yourself with anyone else other than your boyfriend. Attraction is always exciting, in the end it comes down to whether you want to risk 'love' and hurting the one you love for the excitment of something new, which will always come about in life no matter who we are with. Or you can choose to take the road of personal integrity and commit to the one you already know you want.If you cannot commit to someone you love then you will struggle to commit to anyone, it's a test, everyone goes throught it. If you want your boyfriend take steps to spend more time with him, concentrate on his good qualities that drew you to him in the first place and seek to rekindle the chemistry and excitment that drew you to him. It is more likely that something like this is not quite right in your relationship than you wanting to be with the other person. Instead of using this person as an escape route, work out the REAL/ACTUAL issue with ur boyfriend as this other person has nothing to do with your relationship with him. Find out what needs working on DEAL with it, GET IT SORTED! Avoid this other guy for a while until you get that strength back with your boyfriend.If you love your boyfriend please don't put him through the suffocation and pain of thinking everything is ok and then later dropping a bombshell on him that will crush him and men are smart, he'll know somethings going on even if you don'tsay anything, he'll sense it. You have a chance to take the high road and do the right thing. Good luck.
A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (16 January 2006):
 You aren't being fair. You expect your boyfriend to be faithful to you, yet you have wandering eyes and have thought about breaking things off or cheating?
He was out of town for ONE weekend, and you were on the phone all night with another guy? Were you trying to fill a void created by his absence or something? Shame on you! If your boyfriend knew, he'd probably be very upset and hurt.
As the first responder suggested, you are greedy and would do best in an open relationship. I'm sorry if this sounds mean.
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A
female
reader, MilanaNYC21 +, writes (16 January 2006):
 My dear, you have a symptom of something easily indentified as GREED. You would like to have your cake and eat it too! Unfortunatley, greed never ends up in anything positive, and only creates dampened spirits. I would suggest either being in an OPEN relationship, or breaking it off with your boyfriend. If you cheat, you will ruin the relationship and any kind of friendship you have with your current guy.
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