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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I wanted to know how a lot of you other guys in relationships are able to ahve meaningful conversations and I mostly wnat to know what types of questions to ask yourthe person you're dating to really see what kind of character they have. I find that it's difficult for me to talk with my boyfriend because I don't know what to say or I get stuck without a good subject to talk about. I know he has doen a lot to keep the conversation going the first few months we were together and he did most of the talking, but now it's come to the point that it's my turn to talk and I'm not sure waht else to say or ask him. I noticed we've been talking about pretty light subjects so far and not digging much deeper than what's the latest television show or which celebrity broke upw ith who--do you guys ahve any suggestions on how I could be more of a talker and inspre deeper conversations? thanks a lot
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi there, I really don't think your bf should discount your ideas like that. I believe everyone has a right to their own opinions and views. It's not like his ideas are SO much better than yours or more interesting than yours. Like, for me, I'd consider "financing" to be deathly boring! Who cares? Is he going to pay for your apartment or school? Then he should keep his "financial" opinions to himself or become an accountant and let people pay him to dipense his "finanical" advice. Why did he tell you that you talk about "stupid" things? I'm sure they are not; they are just subjects HE'S NOT interested in and therefore he calls them "stupid." That's one and number two: if you feel you wnat to deepen the convos you guys have, then I'd say look in the newspaper for human related stories--like those miners trapped after an earthquake caused heir mineshaft to collapse. My advice is to look at current events and then discuss it with him; or like another person suggested--watch a movie (preferably one with dramam and conflict) and afterwards ask him "If you were the main charcter would you have done that?" "what did you think when that character did so and so?" and eventually it will build from there, but he should never call your ideas stupid--if he's so hung up about that, why doesn't he try to make HIS convos deeper? He should do his part too. Hope this helped
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): my boyfriend thinks i talk about stupid things, he said i should "have a more smarter conversation. like talk about financing and realistate and things like that." HELP! how do i start these convos? and i dont really know that much about all of this... please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2006): Idont really know what to tell you cuz im havinmg the same problem 2
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2006): HI!! I have realized that in order to have a meaningful conversation you must learn to be natural with your tone. Do not get upset if you don't get the output you want b/c that will just cause confusion for him...also know what you want the conversation to be about! Think about what you are saying before you say it and then move swiftly into what you have been meaning to talk about. What you must really learn is to be natural with your conversations and do not rush into things.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (16 January 2006):
 Maybe one way in for you would be to start with something 'lite' and move on to depth. For example you say you talk about tv shows. Instread of talking about the shows talk in depth about the chracters, their motivations, their actions, whether you agree with what they did and if not why not.
Also try direct questions, for example, what personality triat would you change and why. Ask about embaressing moments in the past, other exepreinces, happy moments etc etc. I hope that helps :).
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