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*ildblueroze
writes: I have been with this man for 2 1/2 yrs. He is an alcoholic, very jealous, and physical. He has low self esteem. I do love him, but I can't keep walking on egg shells. I don't want to leave, but I want and need to be happy. We have a 1 1/2 yr. old baby together, and she is always jumpy when he starts in. I do love him, but I can't keep living this way. I'm scared to leave. I have tried talking to him, begging him, but it's like he loves his beer, and his temper more then us. please help
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (24 May 2005):
 Listen to your daughter, because she's not masking her feelings about him with a desperate veneer of "love". Your daughter instinctively knows that your partner is dangerous and she wants out. You owe it to her safety to get away from your partner.There doesn't appear to be anything left to love about this man. He's made his choice and it was beer, not his family. Now he's making you live in fear and he's frightening your child. Because he's your daughter's primary male role-model, she's learning by watching your partner that "this is how men behave" and she's also learning that this is "normal". How sad! If he was a stranger on the street and scaring you and your child this way, you'd run to the nearest police station and report him, wouldn't you? So why would you stay with a man who makes you feel this way in your own home? Wouldn't it be much nicer to feel calm and secure with a happy child in a quiet home... even if you and she were alone together? You know you have to leave. You must leave, because you have to protect yourself from his jealousy and his abuse. If you don't, who can protect your child from him?Look in the government listings of your phone book for "women's services" or "women's counselling". Tell them what you've said here and ask them what services are available for women like you. They will open your eyes to a lot of options that you might not know you have.Above all else, you owe it to yourself and child to get out of a situation that makes you frightened. However much you might love your partner, it's imperative that you protect your little girl from growing up in a household like you describe. Maybe your partner will mend his ways when he sees what he's lost, but even if he doesn't, I want you to focus on finding a safe and quiet home for you and your daughter.Do that first, then talk to your partner about your relationship, once you're safely out of his way.Please do this.
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reader, ashley +, writes (24 May 2005):
well i know it might be hard to leave him ...but just sit down for a few minutes and just think of all the things he has done wrong in the past say month..amnd then think of what it would be like without him and how happy you would be
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