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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,Is there something wrong with me? I just cannot get a date! The last date I went on was when I was 18, that was 7 years ago!I'm attractive (so my friends tell me, perhaps they are lying!), but, I am 40lbs overweight (which I am trying to get rid of!). When out, I don't even get the slightest attention from men and I'm too shy to go and start a conversation.Is the reason for my non-existent dates my weight?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 If you feel unattractive then this will project to men.
Don't stress yourself out about getting a date, I am overweight by about 4 stone and I split with my ex last year after almost 20 years together. I have not been with a man in almost 4 years so I know how you feel.
Start to find yourself again and make yourself a plan of action. What do you want out of life? What are you going to do to get it?
If you are unhappy with your weight then start to do something about it. I know it is easier said than done but get your friends to help. Go to the gym or go out cycling, running, walking.
Look at what you are eating as it may be comfort food and not healthy food.
Go onto online dating sites and just chat to someone, you may find that what you see of yourself is not what others do.
Do things for yourself that you enjoy, if you can afford it have a pamper day like a massage or swim or just reading a book, take time out for you. No one else is going to spoil you so do it for yourself.
If you are depressed go and talk to your doctor or get some counselling and the black mood/feelings will start to lift.
Live life to the full and you will exude an attractiveness that people will not be able to resist. We get one chance at life and sitting around miserable will not make you feel happy.
Get busy, get stronger emotionally and physically and there will be no stopping you girl.
Good luck and stay in touch.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (21 March 2006):
If you feel unattractive then this will project to men.
Don't stress yourself out about getting a date, I am overweight by about 4 stone and I split with my ex last year after almost 20 years together. I have not been with a man in almost 4 years so I know how you feel.
Start to find yourself again and make yourself a plan of action. What do you want out of life? What are you going to do to get it?
If you are unhappy with your weight then start to do something about it. I know it is easier said than done but get your friends to help. Go to the gym or go out cycling, running, walking.
Look at what you are eating as it may be comfort food and not healthy food.
Go onto online dating sites and just chat to someone, you may find that what you see of yourself is not what others do.
Do things for yourself that you enjoy, if you can afford it have a pamper day like a massage or swim or just reading a book, take time out for you. No one else is going to spoil you so do it for yourself.
If you are depressed go and talk to your doctor or get some counselling and the black mood/feelings will start to lift.
Live life to the full and you will exude an attractiveness that people will not be able to resist. We get one chance at life and sitting around miserable will not make you feel happy.
Get busy, get stronger emotionally and physically and there will be no stopping you girl.
Good luck and stay in touch.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): It's probably not the weight but your confidence. I never had a weight issue, but used to be very shy and was hardly approached by anyone and did not get asked out. If you don't look people in the eyes and you don't look like you're inviting conversation, guys may think that they don't want to make you uncomfortable by approaching you. Even if you don't look shy, you may not look approachable. You may be giving off signals that you don't want attention, so guys leave you alone.
I know now that a guy needs to read a signal from you that you might be interested in him before he approaches you. You need to have open body language, meaning facing someone, not looking down and not crossing your arms. The slightest smile when someone catches your eye is also inviting. (But you have to be looking people in the eyes for this to happen). Try not to slouch and feel like hiding or disappearing. Try to feel happy and comfortable with yourself, and it will show in your demeanor.
It's great that you want to take care of your body, and even though you're not at your goal yet, feel good that you are taking care of yourself. Feel that you have a lot to offer at any size. When you feel like a goddess and exude an inviting attitude, plenty of guys will want to know what makes you tick. They'll be happy to start conversations with you, as long as they think you'll be happy to have a converstion with them.
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