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age
36-40,
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writes: Hello. There is an elderly lady who lives just down the street from me. I walk past her house every day. She is friendly and talks to me - in fact, she talks to everyone - and I am happy to chat to her. However, she gossips about people and is often critical. She seems to know everyone's business and always seems to know everything that is going on in the area.There is a man who lives across from her whom she is particularly against. She used to talk to him but he started drinking, so she now says she wants nothing to do with him. Yet it has been about six months now and every time I see her she talks about him and says his drinking is "disgusting." She even checks in his bin to see if there are cans or bottles of alcohol in there. She slanders him to everyone. It is like she is obsessed with him and has a vendetta against him.I have been feeling increasingly uneasy with her gossiping, as I have feared that one day someone would have a go at her. Well, the man who lives across from her started to shout at her the other day, calling her names, as he had caught her looking in his bin. He also shouts that she tells lies and that she is in everyone's business. She then called the police, telling me that you "can't put up with that."Now, I don't know how to handle this. I am uncomfortable with her gossiping and do not wish to hear every detail of people's lives. But I don't know what to do or say. I usually just stand there and listen, but I come away feeling bad.Do you have any ideas on how I could handle this? Sometimes as I am walking past her house she rushes out to talk to me, so she must be watching people from her window. I had thought I could just say hello to her and continue walking, without stopping to talk. Yet I don't want to appear rude, and that won't work if I bump into her at the bus stop. Should I just listen and keep quiet? Or say something? If so, what?Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for any help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (30 April 2014):
 how elderly is she? Maybe wait a few more years and she will vanish by her self LOL Seriously you need to be more assertive and make it clear you don't wish to chat to here any more. If she falls out with you tough. Not your problem. You don't want her giving away your gossip now do you! Its easy to fall into a trap of saying something that gets turned around or shouted about.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 April 2014):
 What Cerberus said. And do add the bit about the dominatrix session, she'll probably go up in smoke and that will be a sight!
OK in all seriousness OP, just say, "hey, nice to see you but I'm really busy, I've got to rush". Learn how to say "no" OP. That's one of the most important lessons that one has to learn. The reason she targets you is because you're an easy victim, because you don't refuse to listen to her. People like that feed off others like you who are just as non-confrontational as you are. If you start putting your foot down, she wont dare to bad-mouth others
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2014): "Oh that's interesting, listen I gotto go, late for a meeting/date/appointment/lunch/dinner/massage/dominatrix session"
Stop being a wimp and blow her off.
Don't say anything about it to her, OP, just lead a "busier" life. The last thing you want is her to direct her shit at you instead. Just keep her on smiley friendly terms and be busy.
Other than that why do you feel bad by the shit she says? I'd find that hilarious, I love neighbour drama because I'm never involved but I hate stop and chats so I wouldn't stand there for long listening to her.
OP neighbours like her have a lot of value. Every neighbourhood has one. The one I had growing up was the first to tell my mother if I was up to no good and stuff, which I found annoying but as I grew older I also realised she's like a neighbourhood guard dog and you can bet your ass if someone was acting suspicious near you house or anything she'd have the cops there in about 10 minutes.
Just remain pleasant and have your excuse prepared, if you meet her at the bus stop then just let her off. A small bit of annoyance is no big deal in the grand scheme of things, she's just bored old lady and as long as her shit isn't directed at you then you're fine.
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