A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend on Saturday. However after several break downs on Saturday, and seeing him yesterday I've realized I really want to be with him, and he want's to be with me. So we've retitled our breakup, to a break. My question is #1 what is the difference, and #2 what is allowed in a normal "break" and what isn't.For example, he works late shifts so he goes to work before I get off for the night, so normally I've been going to his house everyday during my lunch breaks and waking him up and eating lunch with him. my question is, is that still what I should be doing? And is it okay to hug, or kiss? I'm just really confused any advice would be nice!!!
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a break, broke up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): A "break" usually means the person asking for it wants an excuse to cheat without technically cheating. The other person goes along with it because they mistakenly assume their partner won't be any dating other people during that time.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 A "break" is when you choose to step back from the relationship and not see each other with the idea that you will get back together. You basically want some space from each other and think about the relationship and how you can mend your differences. A "break up" is when you choose to end the relationship permanently.
In your case,decide what your deal-breakers are. Can you come around his porn addiction? Does he even want to change himself to try and be with you? Based on this, you can decide if you want a break to sort out your feelings or if you want to end things altogether.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 October 2011):
 maybe you just had a fight?
a break means no contact in my opinion and rarely work...
whatever YOU and your partner decide is ok for you two is what YOUR break is. I don't think there are any rules...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to be in this realtionship. I only broke up with him because he was looking at porn. I understand that some people look at it and their partners are okay with it, but I was not. It made me feel like I wasn't enough, and wasn't worth anything. I'd talked to him about it about a month ago, but nothing changed. So I broke up with him so that he understood, that I wasn't playing around. I wanted to be the only girl in his life, and in his head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): a break means you're still 'together' so you shouldn't be looking at other people or trying to start other relationships. you still owe each other loyalty and priority. it means that the time that you spend apart shouldn't be spent doing things that could lead to a new relationship or relations with someone else.
a break up means you're free to do anything with anyone that you want and you owe nothing to the other person anymore.
if you're on a break then I dont' think you should be going over to his house the way you normally would. otherwise that's not a break at all it's saying all is proceeding as normal. instead it would be saying you got back together.
you need to decide what you want. Do you want to be in the relationship, or out of it?
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