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male
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,My values and traditions are making me negative about myself. I am 22 yrs. old guy and have been brought up in a society where there is a strict boundary between men and women. Men and Women cannot be friends or talk honestly unless they are married or engaged. At the same time, i educated in school with co-education system where girls were treated as equal and there were healthy friendly interactions between boys and girls. I didn't participate much in to them though, due to my social background. Also women in my society are completely different from women in society where they are considered equal. They are more submissive-less-manipulative and follow whatever men say as men are generally dominant members. Men find it difficult to take an order from women or even consider her advice. So women manipulate men emotionally to get their things done. In equal societies, women are more honest about their feelings and stand up for their rights and are pretty straightforward. As i grew up and took up my first job, i saw women being my competitors in the workplace. Also some of them would be my immediate supervisor. This made me quite uncomfortable because my heart still cannot come out that old traditional thinking. I still try to resist conversations with women at workplace and even if i do, i can't treat them with respect. Basically, i can't digest the role of women at workplace. But the modern times are making me swallow that bitter pill. Is there any way i can separate my social thinking from that of workplace and be more accepting of women's role at work?
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 September 2005):
 Mate, sorry to say this but you're being really foolish if you let your beliefs on something thats really outdated like that ruin your chances with women. Be bold and take your first step into the new age!! Look, I dont mean to sound harsh but what makes women any lesser beings than men?? Ask yourself that truthfully and you'll come to see its much better treating women as equals than any lesser. If you dont like straighforward women, then avoid them but trust me, you're living in the world where everyone deserves a fair go whether you like it or not. How would you feel if someone told you you're not capable of a job just because of your sex?? Its not a culture thing, its an excuse to just keep women supressed, but its not going to happen mate!! Believe or not!! I really hope you get your head around this!!
A
female
reader, jaime +, writes (15 September 2005):
What i suggest is you forget about your tradition and move on. You are 22 years old, are you really going to grow old knowing you have never had a girlfriend? Watch some movies with romance and just think to your self how nice it would be to actully be in love? or to have children. If you dont change you are going to be alone forever and i dont think you want that do you? just think what it would be like when your old, would you want to have a wife looking after you, maybe even have grandchildren? or would you want to be alone with not much family? you should respect women and if you've got a chance you should take it! Good luck
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A
female
reader, susu  +, writes (15 September 2005):
ok ease up a bit, where do you come from? and what kind of culture is that i know of no culture or religion which degrades women be it christian jew or islam, and even if it a religion like hindu or something like that arent there meant to be hindu goddesses or something like that?
i think its just a matter of society a place you grew up which holds a certain tradtion. but you have to wake up and accept that tradition is breaking all over the world things are moving so fast too fast actually in the world for silly things like this to slow it down. its a good move that you are asking what to do but before you ask you have to know that you are wrong. isnt your mum a woman? dont you respect your mum ? isnt she the one who brought you into this world and brought you up and made you what you are or in your society do men get pregnat and have babies all alone? i think you should sit down with yourself and stop thinking you have to think like the people where you come from. as a man so powerful as you say cant you be powerful enough to have your own opinion? or is that too much, could it be unmanly to do so?
i dont blame you, very much but if you dont do something about it then i will say that you certainly have a problem and maybe you are affraid of women!!!! are you by any chance married or thinking about getting married? if so god help her and may he stand by her untill you start respecting yourself and respecting others.
bye
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