A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So heres the situation, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's the only serious and sexually relationship i've been in. I'll admitt he is a bit controlling and won't let me do much. And we've been dating since I was 15-16. Ever since we lost our child I've felt very distant. I really love him alot and i can tell and feel that he loves me alot as well. But latley I've been looking at older men, like much older (late 20's early 30's) And they seem very appealing to me, more than my own age group. And I can't see myself without my boyfriend, but I'd love to test other waters. Do you think this is natural to want to test other waters like this? What should I do?!
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female
reader, Beccccccy  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Time to cut clean the dead wood , I agree try someone who is going to have some real feeling for you and date an older man .
Variety is the spice of life !
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I'd say this is normal reaction. You've been with your man for so long, and from such a young age. You haven't experienced much else. You recently lost a child which is a very traumatic experience. It shackeled your relationship, and you've turned inwards and away. Probably as a defence mechanism, because you got hurt. Now you look around for other things than your boyfriend. This could mean many things, so what you should do is figure out what you want in life. And then make your decision based on that.
I will try to offer some explanations for why you are thinking about these other men: 1. you have been with your boyfriend for so long and it's getting boring and isn't really what you are looking for in life, you might feel it is time to move on.
2. you were with your boyfriend from such a young age that you havne't experienced much of anything and have the need to live your life (alone) before settling down.
3. the loss of your child made you want to remove yoruself from your boyfriend because of all the memories, tension and hurt, and you need time on your own to recover.
4. all these things combined makes you generally unhappy about your life and you need a change, perhaps to find out what you really want to do in life, and you feel that if you stay you are rottening away.
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