A
female
age
30-35,
*tarryangel
writes:Dear cupid, I have a problem! I have just ended a relationship with an agressive boyfriend for another boy I like. My previous boyfriend sexually assaulted me and was rude, and physically abused me as well. The guy I am going out with now doesn't know what has happened to me , and before when he wanted to have sex with me , I said no, and I don't feel like I am ready to do anything after my last boyfriend , as he really lowered my confidence- the boyfriend I'm with now complains that I never do anything with him, and he alway's starts it off, but I am not confident enough to- I don't think I can tell him because he might judge me - :( help me !!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): Don't burden him, and your new relationship, with this news. Sure, tell him all the details, but do you really want a fresh start, or bring your old baggage (and drama)to this new relationship? Some people get addicted to drama, particularly women. Also, the new guy needs affection, too. If you're not ready for a new relationship, or need time to heal your wounds, don't waste the new guy's time. Say you're not ready. Some will say, hey, if he really cares about you, he'll understand etc etc but I'm samrter than those people and strongly recommend that you just move on, and enjoy a new relationship. If you can;t stay single for a while. And, importantly, don;t make the same mistake and pcik another jerk. All guys need physical attention, that doesn't make him a jerk. He has to respect you, etc. You know the difference. Good for you, though, for kicking the jerk to the curb!!! Now get on with your life! And enjoy! We all make mistakes being with the wrong people now and again -- but it's not really a mistake, unless you stay in such an abusive relationship. Now enjoy this new relationship, and move on!
A
female
reader, osospecial +, writes (4 January 2009):
I'm sorry about your past relationship with the idiot man. He hurt you and it's going to be hard being yourself again. If you are happy with your boyfriend and everything is working out fine then you need to tell him the reason why you dont want to have sex with him just yet. That way he will comfort you and you should know that most men will never hurt the people they like/love. If you explain what had happened to you, your boyfriend will understand and will not judge you as you have done nothing wrong. Good luck hope my advice helped...
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