A
female
age
36-40,
*enL
writes:(Mod note: two questions from same user combined.)can anyone please tell me what are the ways that I can turn a guy on and how to talk dirty, my boyfriend and I have difficulties when trying to make out and he told me talk dirty might help, but i don't know how.....my "boyfriend" and I have tried a few times on 2 separate occasions, yet things didn't go well as we've planned. It will be the first time for me so I am like anticipated for this like forever, yet every time we failed.I don't know whether because I'm totally inexperience and can't aroused him, or because he is just too nervous. Having sex in a short break is obviously not the best option and timing, but there is simply nothing else that we can do. Both of us are extremely busy and at the same time we also have to keep our relationship a secret. He is married and teaches in the same college where i go to and where his wife works too. I have to keep it as discreet as I can because he and my sister have a thing for each other and he is afraid that if she finds out, she'll be so hurt. It hurts me more that he cares more about her, but I can't pull myself away from him. So back to my question, he always worried that my sister would come home while we're having intercourse, or that his wife suspected something and followed him. Can that be the cause (because he's nervous)that he lose his erection frequently, because he was being distracted by other things?
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female
reader, JenL +, writes (8 May 2011):
JenL is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for both of your comment. yes, i know this is pathetic, he has a wife & he likes my sister, yet I end up having a sexual relationship with him. I've asked myself many times too whether I'm this desperate & thus have to appear as if I'm so cheap, but the answer is that: i don't think I'm desperate but it does makes me look cheap. I like him, that's why I'm willing to give him my first time. This might sound crazy, but I'm actually glad that before I graduate, I get to be with him, even just for a short while. we've known each other for 2.5 years now & I always thought that, nothing will ever happen between us, and I will just bury my feeling & let it remain a fond memory, as I'm going away.......
I'm actually very disappointed & feel frustrated because time is slipping away. I want to have as many fond memories as I can with him, not only sexually, but also sentimentally, but I don't see a lot of hope there.....we still haven't been able to have any sexual intercourse
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): Honey, If he's married and isn't committed to you, are you sure he's someone you want to make love to? That aside,Talking dirty: I had this problem a few weeks ago, I'd never done anything like it before when my boyfriend asked me to while on webcam..after trawling the web I found the best advice, start small. Start with things like 'I'm so horny' or 'Do you know how wet you make me?' or 'I need you' this will start banter like 'what do you need?' where you can improv with 'I want your big hard c*ck in my mouth, oh baby no one has ever made me feel like this' and tell him what you want, possibly grab his erection while maintaining eye contact and asking who's is this? Is it mine? It better be all for me baby' or read a few smutty novels, and ask him to re-enact your favourite scenes or simply tell him faster harder, while inflating his ego with Oh your so big! But try not to sound sarcastic..Hope it helps (:
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): Well, aside from making obvious comments about the health of this situation, I will stick to answering your question.Yes...he is most definitely piling a heap of anxiety on himself trying to play stud muffin. Some guys need to feel sexually validated by seducing as many women as possible. Some of them get into an emotional blockade, because the subconscious urges that drive sexual attraction and the natural thought processes that make men sexually aroused, aren;t always in sync. This often become a problem with men who have a compartmentalized view of women in a sexual way. THis can be fueled by an obsession with porn, overexposure to porn or exploitation of women, or past experiences where exploitation of women in a sexual way was a normal occurrence.Interestingly, your idea of talking dirty might work, because it might stir up some of the "comfort" that is derived by men who find the over-sexed, explicit side of sex (common in porn) to be more arousing than the tender, loving side.This is a very dangerous and unhealthy relationship you are having, and the person you are having it with sounds like he is a bit unstable and in over his head. Just be cautious!
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