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SUPER STRESSED and seeking a bit of HOPE.

Tagged as: Big Questions, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2008) 9 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2008)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone. I and a young single mom and I am super stressed. I am a full time everything right now, full time school, full time mom and just got "hired" for this intership that amazingly fits my schedule. My EX however is not pulling his weight and I am finacial stressed to the point were I can't do anything unless its wit cash.(Which in turn I could lose the intership). My EX is spending his money else where instead of for the well being of his own child. I just am feeling really down, as if things are gonna get a lot worse before I see any sign of hope.

View related questions: money, my ex

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A female reader, sexi South Africa +, writes (19 March 2008):

sexi agony auntHi

Go to court and get a garnishee order. If he is working it would be the responsiblity of his employer to deduct the money (an amount agreed upon by yourll) and give it to you. I know this b/c i have garnishee orders which i have to pay over as i do salaries for my company. Try that.

Mail me if you wanna chat

sexi

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (19 March 2008):

rcn agony auntSome lawyers will work probono (no cost). It's a program through the organization who licenses lawyers. Or you can contact a child support office. They'll seek the child support as a free service to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

I think older sister has something there, and I also say more power to you. My mom was a single mom.

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A female reader, yeahsureyoubetcha United States +, writes (19 March 2008):

yeahsureyoubetcha agony auntYes if you are willing to give up stuff you will be ok. Get aid food stamps ect the child support can pay for you childs needs and aid will assist until you are ready for a better job. you probably wont have cable or lots of luxuries but you can do it. You just cant make bad decisions where it comes to money. You are poor, not dead and not injured.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well no...i dont have the money for a lawyer to go to court and get child support. Its seems like every lawyer wants the unfront fee right then before they even start the work. But I'm having trouble paying bills as it is. However he(my EX) does have money and is just really lazy and holding it over my head to get me to do what he wants. Because until then he won't be helping raising his child. I try not to stress too much but I think now I am developing sleep issues...I sleep maybe 4 hours a night...and have trouble falling asleep because I'm thinking about everything at once. I also have headaches pretty often. But I will take into consideration all of the suggestions...they are well appreciated.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (19 March 2008):

rcn agony auntNotify the courts and take him to court to pay his share for his child.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

Is he paying his child support? Or are you expecting more than that?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008):

I'm not suprised you are super-stressed! :-S

My mum is going through a similar sort of thing.. She's got me to look after still (hate feeling like such a burden!) and my dad (her ex-husband) keeps asking her for money from the house so as he can get fancy things and go on holiday and stuff. But my mum is in no position to do this! She barely has any money and is struggling with everything, she has an extremely low-paid job and is trying to get her old career back so she can earn better money and do a job that she wants to do.. But any courses that she needs to go on to be able to earn more money she's not able to go on because of her present job! It's like a vicious circle.

However, I keep telling her to hold on and that something good will happen soon. I give the same advice to you! Don't give up and keep trying.. Your efforts will pay off one day! I promise you! (Gee sorry for sounding like a fortune cookie!) I'm sorry if that hasn't helped much :-(

Keep us posted on how everything is going! Good luck with all my heart!

xx Hope xx

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A female reader, Lovesick24 United States +, writes (18 March 2008):

Lovesick24 agony aunt1)My family has a very strong belief in the Lord. If you pray to him, he will help you. God is real and God is hope.

2)You could try using guilt, and ask your kid to ask his/her dad for money. How is he going to say no to that?

Hope this helped, best of luck to you.

Sincerly,

Lovesick

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