A
female
age
30-35,
*appy but stuck
writes:"OPs own title" hi, i have a really good friendship with this guy and i talk to him a lot but recently its been told that he fancies me and then he asked me out and well i said yes and everybody says were cute and great together but i don't feel attracted to him in that way i don't feel love for him and i don't fancy him and its not because hes ugly which he isn't hes cute but i just don't see him in that way but i do like him, but i don't want to dump him because i know that he likes me a lot and i am his first girlfriend but i just don't know what to do please help me! x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 May 2010):
You have to end it. You can't force those feelings, and you need to be fair to him and yourself. He needs to be able to go out and find a woman who does love you. And you need to move on and find the right guy for you. Don't waste time making all these excuses to stay when you know you don't feel the same way. End it now.
A
female
reader, belief  +, writes (17 May 2010):
hi,
i can very well understand. if you really dont fancy him better express this to him. make him sure that it is just friendship and nothing more. because your silence is acceptance and later there will be a time when you will have to depart. it will as if you have ditched him. so try to make your stand in the relationship. dont be harsh doing so. get back to me if you have any issues
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A
female
reader, missyxox +, writes (17 May 2010):
 Sorry hun, but you have to tell him. I know it's hard cause you don't want to hurt his feelings, but if you tell him now rather than string him along, ultimately he'll respect you for it and you'll still have a shot at being friends in the future. You don't have to do it in a nasty way, just sit him down and explain things to him quietly.
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A
female
reader, Pt88  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 Unfortunately, if the feelings aren't there, you can't force them. Unless he is someone you could see yourself growing to love, I would suggest you go back to the way you were...as friends. I wouldn't let it go to long though, it isn't fair for you to allow him to believe you're more into this relationship than you are, but at the same time, it's also not fair to you, being in a relationship you don't really want to be in.
Hope this helps.
Best of Luck. Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, Christine82 +, writes (17 May 2010):
Aww I really feel for you and I understand that whatever you do will be difficult but I feel you need to tell him how you feel. You can't stay in a relationship when you don't love him. You are obviously with him to spare his feelings but it is best to tell him the truth now rather than let his feelings towards you deepen anymore. I wish you all the very best.
Hopefully you can remain great friends
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A
male
reader, Universe Man  +, writes (17 May 2010):
You describe it as a "friendship" and you "talk to him a lot," but then you also say you are his "girlfriend." Let's be clear: is he buying you meals/entertainment/gifts? If so, he needs to be told that the relationship is going nowhere and you need to stop letting him pay for things. Anything less would be disrespectful.
Are you asking WHETHER to dump him, or HOW to dump him? I don't see how you can not dump him if you're so sure you're not attracted to him. Most girls would probably just stop returning his calls or keep telling him they're "really busy" and wait for him to get the hint. You could do that, or you could be upfront about it and just tell him thanks for the memories, but it's over. If you are an attractive girl, it's something you'll just have to get used to unless you get real lucky real early in life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): If you don't fancy him, you got to to end it early before its too late like me. I've now been with my bf for 5 yrs and I am in the same situation as you. If you want to end it, do it early whilst you still can before you start having commitment together like debts/mortgage/family etc.Its only fair for yourself and him in the long term. As they say, time is a healer but seriously, don't wait too long.
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