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Still haunted by our hour of lust.

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I posted this earlier in the month but I am getting worse - it's eating me up inside.

A girl at work (married, as am I, and devoted to her family)who has never strayed and myself started getting along very well having worked together for a few years. The result was a grabbed hour of lust that did not go all the way but came very close and would have done had we been in a better place. She's 5 years younger than me.

We texted each other loads and then even had late evening phone calls whilst our partners were in different rooms of our houses. We told each what we were going to do to each other and what we both wanted and we were like teenagers again.

The next day it had all changed - why? We both wanted the spark, the excitement and the lust and we knew it was bad and we did not want to hurt our partners or friends.

We both know we made a huge mistake and there were alot of tears when we agreed we should not do it again and we get on as if nothing ever happened. The problem is although we have put this behind us and it really has tought us both a lesson, I care very much for her and possibly have fallen in love with her and we have to work away together sometimes. I feel so bad about the whole thing and wish it had never happened as I feel I have hurt her and let her down terribly for allowing us both to get carried away and I am hurting too.

I want to call her/text her but I won't as we promised not to. I'll have to wait until we are at work but then we can't talk at work as people will be suspicious.

What should I do - please someone try to help!

View related questions: at work, girl at work, spark, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007):

Personally, you need to respect your wife. She has done nothing wrong. She loves you. You love her. Someone comes into the picture for just a moment and it has to come to this?! Get over yourself. Do something. Be a man. She both promised not to text each other so respect her descision as well as yours. She doesn't want this to happen. She is also married. You've got everything against you.

You need to seriously seek some help if this goes on or go on holiday with your wife. You have other people to think about other than yourself. This can't evolve around two people and one moment. There are others to think about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

This is a question that is answered so easily by people who have no idea how this feels. About 18 months ago i shared a drunken kiss with my wifes best friend, her husband is one of my best friends. This never went any further than the kiss but got to a point where we said that we loved each other. Now, before everyone starts telling me how wrong i am...i know. That is why we broke it off last August, it was the right thing to do.

The problem is we both know how we feel and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You either have to try and live with it or let it eat you up! As much as it would help just walking away from it all it just isn't possible when you're in that situation.

Although i have answered this question i have no idea how to help you. All i can say is that i, truly, sympathise with you from the bottom of my heart. Stay strong and be a firm believer in fate. Stranger things have happened and if it's meant to be...well, you'll find out.

Good luck Fella

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

This is mad but I know my wife has gone behind my back and I was annoyed but not mad, I actually could not believe myself that it did not overly bother me but it is not why I have.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Update:- Her husband knows me! I am a company director and she works for me so I can not leave. Before anyone asks I did not abuse my position it was mutual and very 50:50, if anything she made the first move. I should have stopped her but the moment overtook us - wrong yes!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

I feel very sorry about what is happening to you right now.

But let me tell you...

What if your wife do the same thing to you? How would you feel?

I agree with peoriaman you should end it now and find another job.

Get a fresh start or just talk to your wife and leave her but don't play behind her back.

Good luck with your life. And be true.

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