A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A very good friend of mine has recently told me he likes me as more than a friend and I think I have feelings for him too but am unsure. We've been very close for a few years, see eachother a couple of times a week, but have never ever overstepped the friends boundary. We get on great and would have a lot of solid basis for a relationship, we have the same circle of friends, know eachother extremely well, his family adore me and mine him, but I'm nervous that if it didn't work out then our friendship would be over. That being said, whenever either of us have been with other people we have drifted apart as our partners at the time haven't been able to accept how close we are. I really like him and he is very much 'my type' but I don't know if I'm attracted to him in that way, although this is possibly only because I've only ever viewed him as a friend. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (9 January 2013):
 There is another way you can look at this, namely you can ask yourself this question, is anything that isnt risky, that comes easy, with virtually no outcome, worth the eventual outcome? Id tend to suggest the answer is almost universally no. Id tend to think you can think about this, analyze this from every possible angle but you will only tie yourself in knots. Some things are unknowable, you cant really know if you have sexual chemistry with the guy until you start stepping outside that zone. Sure this is a leap of faith and anybody who promises you it will all turn out ok is making a promise they couldnt possibly keep - it could be the best thing ever or you could lose everything - there probably is no in-between but like i said at the top, that is one thing that makes the bet worth making, the possibility of a high return. It is however a calculated risk - you have in place good solid foundations as you yourself said so go for it. You only live once and you dont know what you could be missing out on if you dont take that risk. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 January 2013):
I always think that it's worth a shot. If you don't try, you'll never know where it could go and it will just be awkward between you two. It would be a real shame not to see what could happen
Have a think about whether you're interested in seeing him 'this way', and if you do think you want to, go for it.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (9 January 2013):
 If you overstep the friends mark, it doesnt work out and it DOES ruin your friendship, then maybe your friendship wasnt as strong as you thought it was. What is wrong with being in a relationship with someone who is a good friend? Why do some people have to view friends and relationships as different things? The only discouraging thing is you saying you dont know if you are attracted to him in that kind of way. Other than that I would say go for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2013): "but I am unsure." Basic love 101....Be sure you have feelings.Try viewing him as more than a friend for a while. Do NOT have sex if you want to maintain the friendship.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 January 2013):
There's always the risk that things wont work out. If you too are mature and "good breaker uppers" than it should be possible to be friends after a period to get over each other.
I think you should go for it. I've never been in the exact same situation, but it makes sense that since compatibility is every bit as important as love, you guys are already half way to a successful relationship.
Attraction grows, so I wouldn't let that be a deal breaker.
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