A
female
age
30-35,
*harmillion
writes:I'm still young but have been stuck in a mundane and protected box, only had 1 boyfriend which my mom really chased away when he found out we had had sex, and any mention of anything sexual is'nt something I'm allowed to partake in because I'm too young. I'm a good girl always but feel that I want to be rebelious to this because I feel sexually supressed like I should be guilty about how I feel towards the oposite sex. I met a boy recently that is challenging me sexually, I've known him for a year and it seems like I'm holding back because I'm scared first that I don't want a stack of guys under a huge list, I don't want to lose more of my innocence but on the other hand I want to be spontaneous for once and step out of this box, because truthfully the way I think and feel is less than sweet. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 April 2009):
How does your mother KNOW about what your sister is getting up to at uni?
I have the theory that as long as I look after myself well, what my mother doesn't know will not hurt her.
So I tell her very little about my life.
Once you get away from your mum I think you will find it a lot easier to develop your own views, ideas and morals. You can talk to other people about it and I think you'll loosen up a bit.
As for this boy, if he's made the effort to get to know you and talk to you about this, then he must be pretty nice. I'm not saying to have sex with him. I think that would be a bad idea and too much for you too soon.
But going out and kissing, and having someone to explore each other's bodies with may help you realise that it's not all dirty and wrong to even hold hands.
He sounds like the type of guy who would be happy to take things slowly, so go out with him, get to know him and enjoy the small steps.
The first time a guy puts his arm round you or takes your hand it feels SO GREAT!!! Trust me, although you see people going straight for sex a lot sooner nowadays, all the small stuff that leads up to it is really enjoyable too. Part of the reason I like to take things slowly with a guy is to enjoy the ride of working up to it.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): My advice: stop thinking in black and white. There is a huge area between full intercourse and complete chastity. If you're a little nervous about having sex with this guy, try smaller things - try a make-out session where both of you are topless and let him get his hands (and lips) on you. Make sure he knows beforehand that you are not going to have sex with him. That way you can be rebellious without 'going all the way'. After you have done that, re-evaluate your feelings, and decide what you want to do.Humans are sexual beings, and it's rather futile to try and deny this.One last word though: your mother loves you, and wants what she thinks is best for you. You have to become your own woman at some point, but please don't get angry at, or hold a grudge against your mother for her actions or beliefs.
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A
female
reader, charmillion +, writes (19 April 2009):
charmillion is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni wanna stop being so scared to even really do anything with a guy because im too shy or feel that my mom will tell a change in me. fair enough my mom is in control but ive always been a hard worker in school. if she is protective like that to my 22 year old sister in her last year in uni on who she date or if she doing anything sexual than u should know what im talking about here. when i talk about sexual challenge i mean like the guy i mentioned actually tried to find out why im so removed from getting close to him in that way, even though i want to. because ive been brought up thinking anything sexual is taboo. honestly talking to my friends n people around me its unhealthy, but no one can help. i dont know if i should talk to her about it, rebell and do what i want to do, or be in my twenties after getting my school stuf out the way n her still bothering me about my activities with the oposite sex.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 April 2009):
So what is your question?
Do you want us to advise you to go and shag his brains out in a pub carpark?
You are a teenager, not some kind of prisoner of war.
If your mum doesn't let you have boyfriends then tough. It's her house and her rules.
I had the same issue with my over protective mum, and the best way to solve it is to work really hard on your A levels, make her proud, and then make sure all the universities you apply to are 200 miles away minimum.
You don't NEED sex, you just want it.
And if you are going to "rebel" and have sex so you can piss off your mummy, USE CONDOMS!!!!!!
Also, what the hell is a "sexual challenge????" Did he double dare you to give him a blow job?
Good Luck!! xx
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