A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay now I need to know if it's ok to steal someone out of a relationship. I wanted this guy first and he got with his ex and still showed signs of interest in me. Seeing as at one point I was there first but may have messed up, pretty sure I did but was stupid at the time, I think he could want me more or even if he doesn't then I'm sure there's something.I have never been intimidated by anyone like this, I used to get this feeling when I saw him, like a movement in my stomach and a freakish awareness of everything around me and didn't know how to act.I cant help it so it might be selfish but if it can be done then it's a must and I will try to prepare for any possible pain I might cause myself.But basically this is someone I struggle to talk to, so if its on the street or some random place how do i get a conversation going to remind him that he likes me. This means so much to me because I never feel like this about anyone so want all the amazing help you beautiful people can give me. please offer the best advice you have because I can't get over someone like this who I haven't even had my chance with. x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 just continue to be yourself and not try to steal him or make him want to leave his current partner.
as far as leaving him, you ARE just friends so handshakes or light hugs are appropriate...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok i've been talking to him and really like him, i dont know where this is going, if anywhere but i dont intend to steal him. i hope that he will naturally come towards me and everything will fall in to place.
the only thing i want to ask now is can anyone give me some tips?
im really trying to be myself and not sure how thats going
i dont know if i should open up like he did
how do i leave him when we both go home, obviously i cant kiss him and handshakes are for friends and would really hate that
and general tips would be great please
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think you're all right in one way or another, and some of the same ways, i didnt mean to steal like snatch and flirt and sleep with but i just feel its meant to be and am really trying to do it right, i just feel connected and kinda sad allready about the missed opportunity.
I think my feelings are obvious so wont need to be too blutn but if he asks i think i need to tell the truth, obviously i dont wana just shout out and make things awkward or completely ruin anything.
i am trying and dont wanna b a relationship wrecker because i dont want that happening to me in future, and wouldnt wanna have a talk where i say if u did that to him could u do that to me? it would be likie living in shame or fear,
to the girl who told the story i really liked reading that and it kinda shows me hope and its better that than nothing in my case, at least i can look ahead, if it hurts im gonna have to take the consequences like with everything else.
i do fear a lot of other things to be honest, like if i get into a relationship, general things alot of people fear, not silly things so much. but i cant just sit around for a hundred years, and sometimes its best to be blunt. hopefully if its meant it will be and if it isnt then it wont hurt as much as i expect, it just hurt enough knowing he was taken because i've never liked any1 like this before or had this connection.
thanks to you all though, its like i just need a good kick in the right direction xx
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 October 2011):
 IF you have to ask you KNOW it's wrong.
Besides he is not lipgloss.. you can't "steal" people out of a relationship. You can mess up their lives, yes, but you can't STEAL a person.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
THE OP ASKED: "I need to know if it's ok to steal someone out of a relationship"
no it's NOT ok.
1. he's not yours to steal
2. to plot to do this is not nice. it's totally different if it happens (my current bf "stole" me from my then husband but that was NOT his intent and it was not done in an underhanded sneaky manner everything was above board open and honest)
let me ask you this:
IF YOU STEAL him from her what is to prevent someone else from stealing him from you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): Last year I met a boy, first boy to actually take my breath away, it was crazy, first time my eyes laid upon his, I just started shaking, my gut churned, and I could barely stutter a word out. Over a few months we had hung out a few times, but I was so incredibly shy, would barely say a word, but he thought I was adorable. Then one night he finally made a move, I knew for sure he was interested then, but he had never actually said he liked me. But had implied it in everyway possible including physical movements and body language. Then school got busy for him, and I graduated school, and he stopped talking to me. I thought he wasn't interested in me.. But turns out he was just ignoring everyone in his life and focusing on school. Which I then went away to party for a week in the city as you do when you graduate school, and was asked out by a guy I'd gone to school with.This guy, was the absolute nicest, sweetest caring guy in the world. And he was good looking. He was like the perfect boyfriend material, even perfect future husband/son in law material. But when the other guy found out, that's when he finally admitted how much he wanted to be with me. The day I got back was his first day of summer break and he had bought roses to finally ask me.I felt AWFUL, but he had ignored me, missed my graduation and formal and everything, so I really thought he wasn't going to want a relationship with me.He decided to give up on me as I now had a new boyfriend. Eight days later, he walked into my work, we sat down awkwardly and spoke for 10 minutes, and he hugged me goodbye and I realised at that moment I was definitely with the wrong person, the boy who asked me out and I said yes to, was amazing, but he wasn't my Mr. Amazing. So when the other guy hugged me goodbye, I cried and walked off. For the next week and a half my then current boyfriend was away interstate for national volleyball, and the other guy, spent every day trying his hardest to win me over.We would sit there and talk and he'd tell me how I knew I wanted to be with him and all I wanted to say was yes. So I know that's my stupid love story, but, the guy who made me change my mind, well he didn't really change my mind, I knew what I wanted, I always wanted him, but he gave me the courage to break up with an amazing guy which it was a mistake getting with him the first place. And I got with him because of a silly mistake the other guy did, like you said, you did something stupid? I would approach him about this. I really really suggest it. I am still with the boy who won me over, yes he broke up my relationship, but it wasn't the right relationship I needed to be in. I've been with him for a year now, and I know I will be with him for many more. So please, tell him how you feel, because you really, really don't want to miss out on such an opportunity. And even if he rejects you, then at least you know and it will never be a what if. Just make sure if he did leave his ex for you, that he is over his ex, and that things are definitely over between him and his ex.I'm sorry this is long, but whenever I've been stuck in dilemmas, hearing how someones own dilemma in a similar sitatuon went down, always gives me the best advice.Just listen to your heart. That's the best advice I can give.And goodluck!
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female
reader, Juliet  +, writes (28 October 2011):
You can never get over someone like this who you havent had a chance with?Then go for it. Ask him is he interested in you. See how it goes. You have to go for it, or you will always wonder!!If he is interested, then great, take it from there.If not, you will know and you will have tried.If he wants to be taken from his current gf, and lets himself be, then he wasn't going to end up with her anyway!AND if he stays with her, respect her and what he wants and move on and let them be.Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 I understand where you're coming from BUT I wouldn't advise it. No matter what the situation, this man chose to be in a relationship with someone-a committed relationship and that counts for something. If you try to "steal" him back, I promise you it will fail. Think about this: how much can he trust or respect a person who has no problem trying to break up a relationship? Do you want to start a relationship based on a move like this? Or end up being the other man? All I can say is, keep a light friendship, nothing overt. You see him, smile, say hello and gradually work towards conversation. But again, no flirting! If he likes you and cares for you, he'll come to you a free man. If you like him so much, allow him to respect you as a person-not a fling on the side or the man with no honor. If he comes on to you, tell him the truth-you like him BUT you don't date taken men. Trust me, you don't want the pain that often comes with starting a relationship like this. The past haunts, karma burns. Good luck!
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female
reader, girl8867  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 "If it's meant to be... It will happen." Don't "steal" a person from a relationship. You wouldn't want someone to do that to you, right? Anyways, No, you shouldn't. Let everything come naturally. If he really likes you, he doesn't need to be reminded. But you should be thinking about him, too. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have gone out with his ex again. Maybe in the future, he'll totally ask you out. SO, basically, just wait. Use no force at all. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): I am sorry, but in all honesty what you are asking for is wrong. How would you like it if you got this guy and someone else came and stole him from you, you would feel like crap, and you want to do that to someone else? I am sorry but that is wrong, if this guy is the type that you could steal from someone else, why would you want him. He is not free to be with anyone, so you should just go and find someone who is.
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